Hated It

Yesterday was the last day of school.  I have clear memories of what my thoughts were on the last day of school: I can't believe I have to go to summer school-again. 

I hated my high school.  Hated it.  When the last period bell rang at 2:30, you could have had Lance Armstrong on a bike, a NASCAR champion in a car, and Usain Bolt in his sneakers and I would have beaten them all in a race from the classroom to the F train back to Brooklyn.  I was so fast, the sound of the last period bell merged with the F train "watch the closing doors" announcement with me easily sitting on the train.  I would leave with such a tremendous burst, Rickey Henderson studied tapes of me to learn how to get a jump from first base.

I hated traveling from Brooklyn to Manhattan.  I hated wearing a goofy blazer like I a fourteen-year-old business man.   And to have to do it in the summer-that blew....

Musical Gleason

People forget that the great Jackie Gleason sold millions of records of his musical arrangements of love songs.  In a 1985 piece by Pete Hamill in New York Magazine, Gleason explained when he learned the importance of music:

"I saw Clark Gable in a picture.  He's on a couch with a broad.  Nothing's happening.  Then the music starts, and Gable is the most romantic son of a bitch you ever saw.  And I say to myself, 'If Gable needs strings, what about some poor schmuck from Brooklyn?'"  

Low Grade

The temperature tomorrow reminds me of my high school grades: the low 60s.

50 Years Ago Today....

The Park Slope plane crash- at that time, the biggest crash in American history.

Remembering the 1960 Park Slope plane crash 50 years later

It's Over Johnny

You know summer is over when the grass in my beloved Prospect Park starts to resemble Joe Biden's plug-ridden hairline: clumps of faded grass & dirt where lush greens used to be.

I Asked For It

On the Stoop, I pride myself on verbal dexterity and being able to verbally spar with people and have a quick comeback to any/all remarks.

But the other day, I left my self wide open.

I was talking to a friend whose social calendar is always fully booked. Weddings, baptisms, etc. The man would go to the opening of a supermarket if he were invited.

So on Friday, I asked him what he was doing that weekend.

He told me about a wedding he was attending, and I replied that because of the radical judge in California, he may be going to some gay weddings soon.

"Yeah, yours!" was he rapid reply.

It was like it was 1987 and I was fighting Mike Tyson, and I decided to lead with my head.

And he hit me good.

Birds Of Beauty

There is so much in life for you to feel
Unfound in white, red, or yellow pills
A mind excursion can be such a thrill,
You please satisfy,
Take a chance and ride
The bird of beauty of the sky.-Stevie Wonder

Remember that commercial from the 1970's with the Indian with the tear in his eye because of the pollution? I had one of those moments last night.

The federal government-in a brutally efficient manner- invaded my slice of heaven-Prospect Park-and removed and killed all the geese from the lake.

They are all gone.

And unlike the Mossad, they did not even spare one to warn all the future geese.

As anyone who knows me well can attest, I spend a lot of time (every day) in Prospect Park. And an inordinate amount of that free time is spent by the lake admiring the wonders of nature: the geese, swans and ducks.

It's my favorite place in the world to read.

But it has been forever altered.

The reason the feds gave: the geese are dangerous to planes.

Who knew 100 years after the Wright Brothers, that this would pose a problem?

But that is what you get when you have a President who thinks geese are a bigger threat than terrorists when it comes to air safety.

But seriously, the geese in Prospect Park are a great example of how the federal and local governments can never get on the same page.

A couple of weeks ago, a lot of park people noticed there was one goose that had an arrow stuck in its neck. It was horrible and the word went out to try to grab the goose and get it the proper medical attention. After a few weeks of trying, the park rangers were finally able to subdue the goose, get it to the vet, and have the arrow removed.

That goose was returned to the lake-it was a great feel good story.

Little did we know.

That goose was rounded up with the rest of them and killed.

So while the local government was busy saving geese, the feds had plans to kill the very same geese.

Who knew that the geese of Prospect Park would have been better off in the Gulf of Mexico covered in BP oil?


400 Prospect Park Geese Are Killed‎

Glenngary Glen Ross Soviet-Style: Pursuit of Lebron

PUT THAT VODKA DOWN. VODKA IS FOR CLOSER'S.

This is the talk Mikhail Prokhorov had with Avery Johnson prior to the Nets meeting with Lebron:


Let me have your attention for a moment. 'Cause you're talkin' about what...you're talkin' 'bout...bitchin' about free agency.., some son of a bitch don't want to sign with the Nets, somebody don't want what you're selling, so forth, let's talk about something important.

(Sees Avery Johnson pouring vodka). Put that Vodka down! Vodka's for closer's only. You think I'm fuckin' with you? I am not funkin' with you. I'm here from Moscow. I'm here for Vladimir Putin. And I'm here on a mission of mercy.

Your name's Avery Johnson?

Avery Johnson: Yes.

You call yourself a coach, you son of a bitch?

Avery Johnson: I don't gotta listen to this shit.

You certainly don't pal 'cause the good news is you're fired. The bad news is you got , just one week to regain your job, starting with tonight, starting with tonight's meeting with Lebron. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to the free agent market. As you all know, first prize is Lebron. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is Eddie Curry. Third prize is you're sent to THE GULAG. You get the picture? You laughing now? You got a meeting with Lebron.. Putin & Prokhorov paid good money for the Nets to get Lebron to sign a contract. You can't close the deal with Lebron, you can't close shit, you are shit, hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going to THE GULAG.

You can't play in the man's game, you can't close out Lebron? Then go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life. Get Lebron to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me you fuckin' faggot?

ABC. A, Always, B, Be, C, Closing. Always be closing. Always be closing. AIDA. Attention. Interest. Decision. Action. Attention. Do you have Lebron's attention? Interest. Is Lebron interested? I know he is 'cause it's fuck or walk. You close or you hit the Gulag, comrade. Decision. Has Lebron made his decision for Christ? And action. AIDA. Get out there. You got Lebron coming in, you think he's coming in to get out of the rain? Lebron doesn't meet with you lest he wants to sign with the Nets. He's sitting out there waiting to take my money. Are you going to make him take it? Are you man enough to make him take it? (To Avery Johnson) What's the problem, pal?

Avery Johnson: You, boss, you're such a hero, you're so rich, how come you're coming down here and wasting your time with a bum like me?

You see this watch? You see this watch?

Avery Johnson: Yeah.

That watch costs more than your House. I made 15 BILLION dollars last year, how much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father. Fuck you, go home and play with your kids. You want to work here, SIGN LEBRON. You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cock-sucker! You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get from Pat Riley? If you don't like it, leave. I can go out there tonight, and get Lebron to sign. In two hours. Can you? Can you?

Go and do likewise. Get mad you son-of-a-bitch. Get mad. You know what it takes to sign Lebron? It takes brass balls to sign Lebron. Go and do likewise. The money's out there for Lebron, you get him to sign. If you don't, I got no sympathy for you. You want to go out in that meeting with Lebron and close, close, it's yours, if not, you're going to be shining my shoes in the Gulag. And you know what you'll be saying. A loser sitting around in the Gulag: ''Oh yeah, I used to be in the NBA. It's a tough racket.''

Everybody Jump In!

Today was opening day for the New York City public pools. Baldman went to the Red Hook Pool opening and stayed under water in an attempt to drown out the horribly sounding upper West Side accent of Elena Kagan. In all seriousness, the NYC public pools are impeccably run when compared to the 1970's. Below is a posting we put on the Stoop last year regarding how the city gets this right:

Shouts From The Stoop: In Praise of Public Pools

The Band

The concert scheduled for Prospect Park Thursday night was cancelled because the band is from Cuba and could not receive their visas in time. In the past, the United States would not give visas to Cuban artists. The reason: all Cubans (except Mark Cuban) are considered state employees, so the money they earn goes right into Castro's pocket. Obama-what a shock- changed that policy, so Castro becomes the one person benefiting from this economy.

The word from the Stoop is once the Cuban band cancelled, the Prospect Park organizers tried to book the North Korean Symphony to take its place.

It's Time For Weiner To Go

Years ago, Brooklyn-born writers Pete Hamill and Jack Newfield decided to list the three most evil people of the 20th Century. They each scribbled down three names, and compared lists. Each list had the same three names: Hitler, Stalin & Walter O'Malley- the man who moved the beloved Dodgers from Brooklyn to Los Angeles.

If someone asked me to play a modern version of the game, and list the three worst members of Congress, I would scribble the name "Anthony Weiner" three times.

And I know I'm not alone.

And the time has come to add him to the growing unemployment line-or let him become a census worker where he could do far less harm to the country.

And the guy to do it is Bob Turner, who is running against Weiner for the right to represent the people of the 9th Congressional District, which comprises working class neighborhoods in Brooklyn & Queens.

Turner is the anti-Weiner:

He is a retired businessman who has never ran for political office before. Like hundreds of other first time 2010 office seekers, he is motivated by a desire to rid the House of irresponsible representatives like Weiner, who are leading this country to economic ruin.

The massive spending, the federal takeover of private industries and the saddling of future generations of Americans with massive debt have all occurred because Congressman Weiner and his cabal have forced their agenda on an America that has told them loud and clear that they don't want it.

But did Weiner hear them? Of course not. He was too busy flying out to Hollywood yucking it up on Bill Maher.

Think about this: in less than 2 years, the federal government has grown by 30%. And if Weiner had his way-it would have been more. Much more. Because incredibly, the man is to the left of Obama. I say that because Weiner is on the record for saying that Obama Care-the biggest entitlement program since FDR-does not go far enough. Give Weiner a magic wand and we would have single payer health care. With the federal government making all of your medical decisions. No private insurance at all. And Weiner becoming a hero to the MSNBC crowd.

Remember I said Turner was the anti-Weiner? While Weiner wants to extend Obama Care, Turner wants to eliminate it root & branch. None of this nibble around the edges from Bob Turner.

And that is the type of politician that appeals to the Stoop.

Now I know you say getting a Republican elected in New York City is impossible.

But is it really? David Dinkins was such a colossal failure, the people of the New York have not elected a Democrat for mayor since 1989.

And when you look at Weiner's District, it covers neighborhoods like Howard Beach, Mill Basin & Marine Park. There's no Park Slope or Brooklyn Heights when you look at a map of the 9th District.

The voters in Weiner's district have much more in common with the typical Staten Island voter than say, the East Village "vote early & often" crowd that Weiner caters to.

Weiner is such a divisive figure, a couple of years ago a school teacher was on the ballot- and without even campaigning- he received nearly 40% of the vote.

So it could happen. And with anti-incumbent fever in the air, there is recent evidence that shows Weiner is feeling the heat.

Did you see that embarrassing stunt he pulled with a goat last Friday? He trotted out a goat and called a press conference to show that the government spends $ 1 million a year on goat mohair subsidies, and how wasteful that is, and of course he is against it, and that shows how careful he is with the taxpayer's money.

Think about what contempt and what low regard this man has for the intelligence of the people he was elected to serve. Weiner knows that the massive spending that this Congress has engaged in is resulting in blow back for liberal politicians nationwide. So he uses a farm animal in an attempt to hoodwink the voters into thinking that he is a fiscally prudent member of Congress?

What leadership that shows. A Congressman representing Brooklyn and Queens has taken a hard stance- against goat farmers. We may have to update John Kennedy's Profiles In Courage to include Weiner's brave fight.

If the libs could lose Ted Kennedy's seat, and Chris Christie could win in New Jersey, why can't New York force Anthony Weiner to get the first private sector job of his life?

Turner for Congress.

Nothing To Celebrate

Tonight is the opening night of the annual Celebrate Brooklyn Concert Series in Prospect Park. Once again, the organizers try so hard to be eclectic, hip & diverse that the lineup is more unrecognizable than the 2009 Mets.

The headliner tonight is Norah Jones. I know the progressive thing to say is she is very talented and I have her on my Ipod when I go to the Food Coop-but the truth is she is garbage.

The Coney Island & Wingate Park concerts will be announced soon. The Stoop will compare and contrast those lineups with Prospect Park when it's announced.

The Saggy Profiler

State Senator Eric Adams, the man who started 100 Blacks in Law Enforcement, has started a "Stop the Sag" movement by putting the billboard above in six locations in Brooklyn.

The message: "Raise your pants, Raise your image.”

The Stoop is troubled that that Adams is clearly profiling these young people. Why does he say they need to raise their image? How can he stereotype this people? They could be straight A students, doctors, or firemen for all he knows. Yet, without even knowing them, or taking the time to learn about them-he is critical of them-simply because of their clothes.

Most troubling is the fact that Adams is clearly is targeting young black men with this negative billboard. Look at where the billboards are located:

214 Rockaway Parkway

841 Franklin Avenue
1306-1310 Nostrand Avenue

2331 Bedford Avenue
848 Fulton Street 747 Franklin Avenue

Why are there no billboards in neighborhoods where there are majority white people? I see white kids wearing saggy pants all the time. They are in neighborhoods/districts where Adams is their State Senator. Don't they need to hear Adams' message as well? By placing the billboards exclusively in black neighborhoods Adams is saying that in his mind, blacks who wear saggy pants are doing something wrong but whites who do so are OK.

Sounds like profiling, right?

Bloom Time Brooklyn

What a difference two weeks makes. I went for a walk in my beloved Prospect Park and everything seems to be blooming. The colors I saw, I can't even describe. The crayola people haven't even invented crayons with these colors yet. Walking in the park two weeks ago was like watching an old black & white TV with the rabbit ears. Today, the 565 acres seemed like high definition television, the one with the newest technology that Mr. Sulu has been peddling.

Spring time in Brooklyn, USA.

An Interesting Theory

My brother in solidarity, Jersey Drew, has an interesting theory on my Prospect Park water fountain:

"The water fountain likely doesn't work anymore because the government, who is probably monitoring you, probably read your post, conducted surveillance of you in the park, and replaced the water with spring water from France."

Fool's Gold

The Prospect Park water fountain cure for my eye did not last.

I See Said the Blind Man

Sorry about the lack of posts over the last few days. For Baldman, the start of Spring means allergies and as such, I developed an allergic reaction in my left eye. Along with the usual redness and burning, the eye became very sensitive to light and I found it impossible to read and write. Once I was unable to read and write, I expected a basketball scholarship offer from John Calapari, but none arrived. So basically I stayed in very dark rooms with no books, magazines or newspapers to read. I guess you can call it getting in touch with my inner- liberal.

Regarding the eye, I tried a bunch of over the counter eye drops. No good. I took allergy pills. Swing and a miss. I went to the glorious NY Spa Castle in Queens and tried their steam and sauna rooms to alleviate the condition. It did not work. The only thing that has brought any relief was something I stumbled onto today. I put on my Billy Martin in the '70s sunglasses to avoid the stinging sun and walked around Prospect Park. While finishing my lap, I came across a water fountain. Now its way early in the season, so I did not expect the water fountain to work. But low and behold, it did. And I don't know how water fountains work--to me, the whole water delivery system is a miracle-- but perhaps because the pipes were as cold as could be from the winter, this water was the COLDEST & MOST REFRESHING water I ever drank in my life. Take the coldest tap you ever drank at Farrell's and try to imagine something even better, cause this is what I experienced. You know how you do something sometimes without even thinking? That's what happened next. Without even realizing it, I let the water hit my stinging eye. I know water fountains are not the most sanitary places. I also know that some maniac serial killer could have drank from the same fountain just before me. But you know what, as soon as that Prospect Park water splashed into my left eye, I felt more relief than all of the others things I tried combined.

Another reason to love the park.

Naked Abuse

I just read where Erykah Badu has made a video where she strips naked in public at the spot where President Kennedy was assassinated. But I want to leave that desperate publicity stunt aside. After reading about her naked attention grab, I found a 2008 New York Slimes article on Badu. Check this out:

This is my museum,” Ms. Badu, 37, said of the rent-controlled one-bedroom in Fort Greene where she has lived on and off since coming to New York, demo tape in hand, 11 years ago from her native Dallas, where she was Erica Wright.

This singer who has sold millions of records has a rent controlled apartment in Brooklyn? What a crock. Who knew that rent control laws were designed to put government imposed price controls in place so that famous entertainers can have a place to live? It's like hearing Sting qualifies for Section 8 Housing.

The rent control laws are perfect examples of what happens when the government rolls out an entitlement program. And rent control is arguably one of the worst entitlement programs because the entire cost of the entitlement is put on the private property owner.

The first thing that happens is that once you put an entitlement in place, you can NEVER get rid of it. Rent control laws became effective in New York after World War II. It was enacted as a solution to a housing shortage that occurred as a result of the soldiers coming home from the war. Every year since 1945, the state assembly & senate get together and say that the same shortage that existed in 1945 exists today, and therefore, they extend the rent control laws. Excuse me, but it's been 65 years, I think all of our boys are back from the war, but they still use that same bogus excuse to keep rent control in place.

But they will never get rid of it, because you can never get rid of any entitlement program in this country.

The next thing that happens is abuse. Widespread abuse. A system designed to help soldiers has morphed into addressing the housing needs of a naked hip hop star who desecrates the place where an American president was killed.

Enough.

I'm Glad It Happened. But Never Again

A couple of last thoughts on the Nets move to Brooklyn, and the use of eminent domain to provide the land where the Nets will play.

Do I think the use of eminent domain in this instance is unconstitutional?

Yes I do. The fifth amendment is clear on this. If the government takes your property against your will (and compensates you for doing so) it has to be for a public purpose. It's straightforward: if the government takes your house because it wants to build a highway-that is a legitimate use of eminent domain. A highway is used by the public. It passes constitutional muster. But to take private property -against the will of the owner- and turn that property over to a private developer to build an arena, some office towers and apartment buildings? That surely does not meet the public use requirement of the takings clause of the 5th amendment.

So why have the Courts not stopped this unconstitutional land grab?

Because the Supreme Court has waterdowned the definition of "public use"- there really is no distinction between public & private use. If a property or area is defined as "blighted" the Supreme Court says its OK to take that land and hand it over to a private developer. In 2005, in the New London case, the Supreme Court extended the use of eminent domain even further to include "non-blighted" property. The New London case is scary and should be overturned ASAP. In New London, the city of New London used eminent domain to turn private property over to the pharmaceutical company Pfizer. Was the area "blighted"? No. So why was New London allowed to take the property? New London said that turning the property over to Pfizer would create more tax revenue for the city. And that was enough to meet the public use requirement. And the Supreme Court, in a 5-4 decision, agreed with that rationale.

Bottom line: after New London, if the federal, state and local governments want to take your property, all they have to show is that the property will generate more taxes once they take it.

Like in so many other areas, when it comes to eminent domain, the Supreme Court has made horrible decisions that subverts the meaning of the constitution. If the Supreme Court did its job, NYC would never have been allowed confiscate privately owned land and turn it over to a private developer to build an arena for the Brooklyn Nets to play in. It never should have happened.

I don't understand. If you say its unconstitutional, how can you support the use of eminent domain in downtown Brooklyn?

I support it because I am a hypocrite. My desire to see Brooklyn have a professional basketball team outweighs the undeniable fact that in order to achieve that goal, the constitutional rights of many fellow Brooklynites were trampled upon. I know I am wrong to support it, but I still do.

Here is what I would love to see happen: Once the arena is built, and Lebron scores the first basket for the hometown team, I want the Supreme Court to overturn New London. I want public use to mean public use. Not private use. What happened in Atlantic Yards should never happen again. To anybody.

But I'm glad in happened in the first place.

But never again.

How It Was Possible

Yesterday was a very significant day: they had the groundbreaking ceremony for the new arena that will be become the home of the Brooklyn Nets in 2012.

Having a pro sports team in Brooklyn is a half century overdue. And it could not have been done without Julius Erving. Let's trace a few historical steps:

The Nets entered the NBA as part of the merger between the two pro basketball leagues: the NBA & the ABA. Under the terms of the merger, 4 ABA teams (Pacers, Spurs, Nuggets & Nets) had to pay a $3 million dollar entry fee to join the NBA. The other ABA teams were folded, and players from the folded teams were part of a dispersal draft. (Some excellent players were in that draft-Moses Malone, Maurice Lucas Artis Gilmore.)

Now the Nets had an additional barrier which put their admission into the NBA in real jeopardy. Not only did they have to pay $3 million to the NBA for a entrance fee, they also had the pay the Knicks an additional $ 3 million. Why? The Nets played in a terrority where the Knicks had the NBA rights. In order to waive those rights, the Knicks demanded $ 3 million. Immediately.

This put the Net owner (Roy Boe) in a bind. He had the $ 3 million entry fee, but that left him tapped out. Without the additional $3 million for the Knicks, the Nets would have folded.

So Boe was in a bind. And he did something that broke the hearts of Net fans everywhere: he sold Julius Erving to Philly. For $3 million. That went to the Knicks.

Selling Julius allowed the Nets to play in the Knicks territory. That territory includes Brooklyn, USA. That's why the Knicks could not block the Nets move to Brooklyn-they signed those rights away in 1976.

Sometimes, it is hard to see the Forrest through the trees (or the other way around,I can never get that saying right).

But 34 years after it happened, the sale of Julius Erving made it possible for the Nets to move to Brooklyn.