Scouting Report

The U.S. women are playing Japan in the World Cup Final, which takes place in Germany.  The game starts at 2:30 NY time.  Look for Japan to attack early, even before the game begins.  The U.S. will be devastated by the attack; they literally never saw it coming. It will look bleak for the U.S.  They will struggle.  But eventually they will come together as a team and beat back the attack and WIN! 

He got left back

Conversation in Prospect Park yesterday:

"Yo, Baldman, now we know why Lebron never went to college."

"Why's that?"

"He doesn't do well in finals."

It's Good to See The So-Called King Toppled....

In the 4th quarter, in games 4-6, didn't Lebron look like Tyson searching for his mouthpiece against Buster Douglas?  Or maybe he was like the Marine on the stand in "A Few Good Men", unsure on how to answer and looking for Dwayne Wade for guidance?

It was compelling to watch to see a man just not being able to handle the moment.  He looked like Ralph Kramden in the "oh, it can core a apple" episode.

Kong

Adam Carolla's story on how Kareem was a real dick in refusing a kid's request for a autograph reminds me of a similar story.

In 1980 or 1981, a  Dave Kingman  at bat was one of the few reasons anyone would watch a Met game.  He would hit moonshots.  Or strikeout on a pitch over his head or at his toes.  There was no middle ground with King Kong.

So one day after a game Baldman and his pals ran into Kingman right outside the Met clubhouse.  They were face to face with King Kong.  And they did what all kids would do in that situation: they asked him for his autograph. 

And 30 years later, Baldman still remembers Kingman's response:

Not tonight guys, my shoulder hurts.

His shoulder hurts?  We just saw him hit a baseball beyond the Shea bullpen and into the parking lot.

He was fucking with us.  And he knew it, and we knew it, and he knew that we knew it.

And he could care less.

What a twisted thing to do.

Years later, when I read that he sent a  female sportswriter a package that contained a live rat, I have to say it was not a shock-not at all.

Kareem

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has been whining that there is no statue of him outside the Staples Center.  Now there are two things we know about Kareem:

1) He had the most unstoppable weapon in the history of sports-the sky hook.  He was automatic.  With Kareem, once he got into that rolling motion, you put the two points in the books.  With every other superstar (Jordan, Bird, etc.) they would occasionally make a shot where you could not believe it went in.  With Kareem, there were no surprises-you knew it was going in.  Always.

2) He has spent his whole life being a dick to people.  (Check out the Adam Carolla video below, where he witnessed Jabbar dealing with a kid's autograph request.)  For close to half century, Kareem has, in the words of Peter Vecsey, "burned every bridge in front of him."

And once the sky hook was gone, and Kareem needed people to look out for him, to hook him up, to do him favors, to give him recognition, everyone who was in a position to do so had been dissed by Kareem.

And they have treated Kareem like he treated them.

Moral of the story: Even if you scored 38,000 points, you should not be a dick to people.
http://youtu.be/B7p0scWJG40

Posada

What we can learn from the Jorge Posada thing and the "whore four" is very enlightening.  Fans will tolerate a lot.  You can do steroids.  You can not hustle.  You can do drugs.  You can shoot yourself in the leg, or conduct horrible dog fights.

But certain things are sacrosanct.  And you never know exactly what they are, and where the boundaries lie, until it has been crossed.

And one of those things is that the manager makes the lineup.  And the players accept that the manager has that authority.  It's something every kid learns in little league. 

So when Posada said in effect, "kiss my ass, I ain't batting last" and decided he would not play, it hit a nerve. 

He crossed a line that should never be crossed.

And it doesn't matter that he is part of the dopey whore four, or how many championships he has been a part of, or that he has built up a lot of good will-the manager makes the lineup.

I'm sure Posada was shocked at how people reacted, but it was refreshing to see it.  He was tampering with something so basic and fundamental, and the same fans who will tolerate a lot of things, drew the line at Posada's behaviour.

And that's that.

He Sucks

The April stats are in, and Baldman tied  Derek Jeter in home runs and stolen bases, and trails him in doubles by only two.  But that leadership Jeter brings, no one can compete with that.

NATO has decalred each Jeter at bat as a No-Fly Zone..

Jeter is the Hosni Mubarak of baseball: he has lost all of his power...

The Art of the Steal

I don't know what it's like to be the victim of a Ponzi scheme, but I imagine it's like having Mets season tickets.-Norm MacDonald

A Solemn Day....

Prior to the start to tomorrow's game, the Yankees will be holding a memorial service for Phil Hughes's dead arm...

He Injured His Fastball...

The Yankees put Phil Hughes on the disabled list.  The reason they gave?  He has a "dead arm."  I thought you had to be, you know, injured to be put on the injured list?  A dead arm?  Are they going to hold a funeral?  The bottom line is the guy sucks.  But if they put Hughes on the disabled list with a dead arm, Jeter should have been put on the list a long time ago for a dead bat.

Is it Hoya Paranoia?

Remember John Thompson, the older one, who brought Georgetown to national prominence?  Read the piece below.  I have never seen anyone take apart, or go after any sports figure the way this guy goes after Thompson. The charges are devastating.....

http://bit.ly/hmK3yU

The Fraud Five

Jalen Rose has done the impossible: by calling the black Duke players Uncle Toms, he has made me sympathetic to Duke.  What a horrible thing for me to feel-especially on the eve of the tournament.

Rose made his tasteless observation when he was promoting his bogus documentary, "The Fraud Five."

The Fraud Five never won a championship, never took a Big Ten crown, and they get their own documentary?

From all accounts their biggest contribution was the length of their shorts and the color of their sneakers.  Make a mental note: when the most memorable thing about a team is their sense of fashion, you know they never won anything.

But there is a Fab Fraud Documentary worth making: the relationship between Chris Webber and Detroit bookie Ed Martin.  Someone should look under the hood and tell us what they find.

Anyway, Grant Hill responded to Rose's comments in the New York Slimes, linked below. It's a masterful take down of Rose by Hill.

And while you should read the whole thing, take note of this little tidbit:

I come from a strong legacy of black Americans. My namesake, Henry Hill, my father’s father, was a day laborer in Baltimore.

How awesome-Grant Hill is named after his grandfather, Henry Hill!  I wonder if his grandmother is named Karen?
 

Grant Hill's Response to Jalen Rose - NYTimes.com

A Tie Goes To....

Every year there are teams that get left out of the NCAA Tournament.  That's the way the ball bounces.  This year, Harvard was one school that had a legitimate claim to the dance, but instead were left outside the club hoping that the bouncer would let them in-but it never happened.

Let's examine Harvard's credentials.  They had their best record in more than a half century.  They had an amazing conference record.  Their RPI and strength of schedule were top-notch.

So why didn't they make it?  Well the truth was it came down to Harvard and one other school.  They were absolutely deadlocked when the committee put Harvard and the other school into the computer. With that being the case, the committee had to use  one last little- known tie breaker: has the school allowed the military on campus in the last 40 years?

And now you know why Harvard didn't make it.

My Small Market Big City Team

It seems that the banks have all shut their cash windows to Met Owner Fred Wilponzi.  Don't be surprised if you see Jose Reyes at a Flushing check-cashing place this summer, hoping that Wilponzi's checks don't bounce.  Before you know it, the Mets will be asking fans to return foul balls.... 

Perfect for the Job

Major League Baseball has just hired Joe Torre as as vice president of baseball operations.  Torre, thinking he was not qualified, was apprehensive about taking the job, but Bud Selig told him that running baseball's operations was like managing the Yankees: you sit around all day and do nothing, and if you ever have any questions, you ask Don Zimmer for help.

A Tale of Two Walks

The Carmelo Anthony introduction last night in the Garden tells you everything you need to know about what is wrong with the NBA in general and the Knicks in particular.

Did you see it? They dimmed the lights, brought out the smoke machines, and the new saviour, St. Melo of Red Hook appeared, making his way from the tunnel to the court.  From the tunnel?  Hold on now.  Walking from the tunnel-that's what Willis did.  It is the greatest moment in Knick history, and should be untouched by anybody, especially the Knicks.

But let's compare the two walks from the tunnel.  With Melo, it was all about the glorification of self. More choreographed than a Broadway Show. Look at Melo. Celebrate Melo. All hail Melo.

Willis Reed's walk from the tunnel could not be more different, which makes it all the more remarkable that it happened in the same building.

First, there was nothing planned about what Willis did.  No one knew he would come out.  There was no announcement. It wasn't about self-glory.  It was game seven.  For all the marbles.  And moments before, he was injected with a needle that would have knocked out a rhino. And the job he had was an impossible one: to guard the greatest physical specimen in the world: Wilt Chamberlain.

And it resonated then, and even more so now.

Willis put it all on the line, in an act of physical courage and bravery. There was no public address announcer shouting his arrival.  No smoke.  No mirrors.  Just a hobbled man limping his way onto the hardwood.

With St. Melo, what was his walk from the tunnel about?  It was about hero worship.  It was about him and the glorification of fame.

Willis's walk was for the team and the city.  Melo's walk was for Melo.

And that tells you all that is wrong with the NBA.
 

kiss of death

 The movie above should be remade, with Isiah Thomas in Richard Widmark role, and poor Donnie Walsh as the wheel chair bound person who Isiah throws down the stairs. 

Phat Yankee

CC Sabathia apparently has lost a lot of weight this winter and is raring to go.  Apparently, he was inspired to lose weight when he would walk around New York and people would come up to him and say,       "D'Brickashaw, you guys had a hell of a year!"

When Jim Met Joe

If there is a more useless job in America than the NFL sideline reporter, please let me know.  They add nothing to the broadcast; no keen insights, no interesting tidbits, nothing.  When I came across the highlight above, it reminded me of the last time something memorable came out of the the sideline announcer's pie hole.

The play above is an 1986 NFC playoff game between the Giants-49ers.  Jim Burt comes up to middle to destroy Joe Montana.  If you hit a quarterback like that today, the police would cuff you and take you away before the next snap. The play was right before the half and Montana looked dead, like he got hit by a truck. So by the looks of it, you would think there was no way Montana could come back in the second half.  But you have to remember: this was Joe Fuckin Montana.  He was already a legend who could strike fear into everybody's heart.

So during halftime there was only one question:  Is Montana going to play?  Do you believe what your eyes told you, (that Montana was hit so hard, he thought his last name was North Dakota) or do you believe in the Montana legend, whereby he would shake off the injury and start throwing bombs to Jerry Rice?

So we waited for the report from the sideline reporter, Irv Cross.  CBS stationed Cross right outside the 49er locker room, where he announced to the nation:

The report on Montana is that EVERYTHING hurts, and he will not be back.

And that was the last time the sideline reporter ever said anything memorable.       

Good Work By Joe

Today is the 69th birthday of somebody known throughout the world.  An ardent supporter of segregation, he attended Klan meetings.  He believed that certain people were wicked-because of their race.  That these  same people came to be because of an experiment gone wrong by an evil scientist.  To top it off, he was a race baiter of the worst kind, and when it came time to serve his country in a time of war, he dodged the draft.  Yes, it is Muhammad Ali's birthday.  On this day it's always nice to remember Joe Frazier's quote, "Look at him now and look at me, and tell me who won all three fights."