Fight The Power... What Power?

Time for a brief civics lesson on the Stoop. A local separation of government powers FYI that may be of interest.

In New York City we have the Mayor, the City Council, the Comptroller the Public Advocate. They make up city government and are elected by the public.

The City Council passes legislation, the Mayor signs it into law and executes it, and the Comptroller audits the books.

In a nutshell, that's how it works.

And that leaves the Public Advocate.

What are the powers delegated to the Public Advocate?

None. Zero.

New York City Public Advocate Bill DeBlasio should be made to wear a Robert Parish jersey every time he walks into the office.

When I say the office has no power, I mean that literally.

It can't enforce any law or regulation.

It has no power to make budgets.

It cannot subpoena any city agency.

It cannot investigate city government.

It has no function; its very existence is a monument to liberal excess and how they really don't care about our tax dollars.

Now you may think that the Public Advocate has a function in city government because you always see the Public Advocate mentioned when something goes wrong in the city.

Last week, on election day, there was a big screw up with the electronic voting machines.

The Board of Elections fucked up big time.

So here comes the Public Advocate to the rescue.

Here is the New York Times on the actions Bill Deblasio took:

In a letter sent to board officials on Thursday, Mr. de Blasio identified several areas of concern, including specific data about the new electronic voting machines, the level of interagency coordination, the recruitment of poll workers, and voter privacy. He said he expected answers in two weeks so that remedies could be developed before the general election on Nov. 2.

Notice that Deblasio "expected" answers in two weeks. He did not demand them, or send a subpoena.

You or I could have written the same letter, and it would have the same legal effect.

The Board of Elections can choose to answer DeBlasio, or it could ignore the request.

He can't compel a response.

It is a ceremonial office with a liberal feel -good name: "Public Advocate".

And it should be abolished pronto.

What's Up, Baby Brother?

ESPN just reported that after the Colts whipped the Giants last night, Peyton Manning met Eli after the game and gave his little brother a wedgie.

Eye On Government

When the leaves begin to turn, I think of three things: (1) playoff baseball; (2) my beloved football Giants; and (3) Joe Paterno's glasses.

Jo Pa's glasses. With lenses so thick, they could be used to bullet- proof the pope mobile. Those lenses can be nationalized as solar panels to heat the entire eastern seaboard.

But I would be remiss if I did not comment on the frames. Joe's lenses get all the love, but no one takes the time to describe the frames.

The frames that Joe uses are very popular.

When you are a member of a government worker's union, you receive free optical care. And every year, you are entitled to one free pair of glasses. And when you go to pick out your pair of glasses, they show you all the frames that you can choose from under your union plan. And those frames, the government union frames, are always the most fucked up looking frames in the store.

And every year, you get to go back to that same vision center and pick up your union-sponsored glasses.

So if you see anyone walking around with the Joe Pa look, just know they are proud members of a government workers union.

Hubie & Jack

ESPN has done a wonderful thing for basketball fans: they got Jack Ramsay & Hubie Brown together to talk hoops. Here, they tell about the most memorable game of their careers. I love how Hubie breaks down Bernard King's Game 5 against the Pistons in 1984:

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=5286966

A-Fraud Goes Yard

So the Yankees were down 3-1 in the ninth, down to their last strike, and A-Fraud Roidriguez hits a game winning three- run homer? Are you kidding me? I mean, what was he thinking? Doesn't he know that the proper thing to do, the Yankee thing to do, the winning baseball thing to do is to fake like you're gonna bunt and pretend that you got hit by the pitch? How selfish he is, this A-Fraud. Putting himself above the team by swinging away and hitting a homer instead of flopping. We know Jeter never would have done that, right?

One Hospital, One Year

Parkland Memorial Hospital- does the name ring a bell? It's where John Kennedy died after his head was blown off by Oswald.

But nowadays, it's infamous for something else: the number of anchor babies that are born there every year.

The numbers are stunning, and because Parkland is a public hospital, it's all paid for by the taxpayer.

As far as maternity wards go, Parkland might as well be Grand Central Station, it's so busy. Every year approximately 16,000 babies are delivered there. And out of that 16,000, 70% are delivered by mothers who are illegal immigrants.

That comes to 11,200 babies a year.

That number is mind-numbing.

We are talking about just one hospital, in just one year.

This hospital is like Woodstock for illegal aliens, they come from near and far so that they can have a baby in the U.S. that-- just by being born in America-- will be granted full citizenship.

Think about that. Think about the crazy incentives we provide to illegal aliens: yes, you are breaking the law by being here, but if you happen to hatch a kid while breaking the law, that kid is a citizen.

The Anchor baby policy has to be rolled back. The new law should be called the "Fruit of the Poisonous Illegal Alien Act". It would be a law only one sentence long: "All children born on U.S. soil to illegal aliens are also illegal aliens."

And when President Christie signs it into law, I want him to open an INS Detention Center right next to the Maternity Ward at Parkland Public Hospital.

And Now, The End Is Near.....

Did you see Jeter last night? If you look up the definition of "washed up", you will see a photo of a baseball player-- way over the hill-- squaring around to bunt --because he can't hit no more-- and then pretending to get hit by the pitch because it's the only way for him to get on base.

The man is paid $20 million dollars a year. What he did is what little league coaches tell the worst kid on the team to do: "Go up there and bunt and if you can't even do that right, pretend that you got hit by the pitch."

Swing Away

It looks like Carl Paladino is going to take off the gloves and go after Son of Mario hard. Amen to that. He should be like Duran in the first Leonard fight: push him into a corner and don't let him out. This idea that Son of Mario is this moderate Democrat ready to lead New York back to fiscal sanity is like that noted philosopher Mike Tyson would say, "ludicrous."

When you examine Son of Mario's record, you will see that claiming he is a mainstream practical moderate is like looking at the back of Luis Castillo's baseball card and saying, "I think he's going to hit 40 home runs next year."

The man is a left-wing wrecking ball.

He got his start in the family business--politics-- by being his father's left hand man and chief advisor as Mario ran this state into the ground. Then his pappy sent him downstate to work for the most inept Mayor in the history of New York-David Dinkins. And if that wasn't enough, once his pappy agreed to not run against Bill Clinton, the president thanked Mario by naming Son of Mario the head of HUD, where his fingerprints are all over the sub prime mortgage mess since he implemented the federal government's policy to "encourage" banks to make loans to people who had no business receiving them. Moreover, as HUD Secretary, he remade Fannie & Freddie into the mess that has devastated this country.

So Son of Mario is that rare breed of liberal; a triple threat that has been able to implement ruinous liberal policies at the local, state and federal levels.

And we are going to reward this political hack with the governorship?

Take off the gloves, Carl Paladino.

And swing away.

Not As Bad

Reggie Bush after giving back the Heisman: "You think I disgraced USC? Did you see Mark Sanchez against the Ravens Monday Night?

A Pleasure To Root For

Just when you think the modern athlete is unworthy of your support, along comes RA Dickey to remind you why it's okay to cheer for some guys.

He is 35, and just breaking through in the big leagues.

He's a born- again Christian with a wife and three kids who visits firehouses and VA Hospitals on his days off.

He rightfully called out the three amigos, Beltran-Castillo & Perez for not showing up at Walter Reed.

He gets it. And all Met fans love him.

From George Vecsey's column:

My last question was about his critical comments when Carlos Beltran, Oliver Perez and Luis Castillo skipped the visit to Walter Reed.
“
I don’t want to be too hard on those guys,” he said, “but at the same time I wanted to concentrate on what it meant for me, how grateful I was,” he said, meaning toward soldiers who had sacrificed their health.

On a team that has grievously lacked leadership Dickey’s voice was welcome.
“I’m a 35-year-old man with three kids, so I feel like what I say with a pure heart, I don’t have to apologize for it,” Dickey said.



Sports of The Times - R.A. Dickey's Continuing Journey Leads to ...

The No Confidence Man

Did you see the Jet game? Mark Sanchez looked like Joe Namath out there. Of course Namath is now 67 years old. I thought Sexy Rexy Ryan was going to remove his lap band and choke his pretty boy quarterback with it right there on the sideline. What did Sanchez throw for, 71 yards? That's going to be the record for the lowest yards for a QB in the new stadium for a long time. You know you suck at QB when the announcers search for something positive to say and all they can come up with is, "He is doing a great job taking the snap from the center."

Sanchez is like Obamacare: the more you find out about it, the more fucked up it is.

Look At The Root Cause

The true home run king, Hank Aaron lamented the fact that blacks comprise only 9% of the players on major league rosters. He blames the lack of baseball scholarships:

"Football has such a lucrative scholarship that when parents talk to their kids about going to school, they talk about one thing, and that's playing football," Aaron said. "You had kids like Bo Jackson and Deion Sanders, who could've been excellent baseball players, but they had to go to school on football scholarships and play two sports. In the long run, it's not going to work, especially for baseball."

Hammerin' Hank swings and misses at the major cause of the decline.

Baseball is the ultimate father & son sport. Playing catch with your father is how millions of American kids have been introduced to baseball.

And it has been that way for generations.

But the sad fact of the matter is this: 74% of black children are born out of wedlock.

And that leads to a lot of fathers not playing catch with their sons.

Which results in not nearly as many black children develop a bond with baseball like when Aaron was growing up.

And if you don't develop an interest in baseball early, it is very hard to pick it up later.

Admittedly, out of all the problems that can be traced to the inexcusably high out of wedlock child birth rate, this is a minor one.

But they are related.

How sad and shameful it is, that so many kids don't know their fathers in America.

Where Have You Gone, Jack Tatum?

Regarding the preacher who wants to burn the Koran, we all know that the only mistake he made was he picked the wrong holy book to desecrate. You change the Koran to the Bible, you could set it on fire, you could cover it in shit, you could throw in a urine- soaked crucifix as a book marker, and the next thing you know, you will have your own exhibit in the Brooklyn Museum of Art-and you will celebrated as a great artist. And the sad thing is everything I just wrote has happened in the past. Not only has it happened-but it was all funded by taxpayers through the National Endowment of the Arts.

So maybe that's what the preacher should do, ask the NEA to underwrite the cost of the lighter fluid.

But what kills me dead about this whole thing is not the above, we all know that part of the right of passage of the hard left is the desecration of Christian symbols and hiding behind the skirt of the 1st amendment when they are called on it.

I know they are rats like that.

But was kills me is the argument by the Pres, Madam Hillary and even Petraeus that "if he does it, they may get mad and hurt us".

How far we have fallen!

America is like a battered wife and we as a nation have to be careful not to say something that will set our wife-beating husband (radical Islam) off-cause he will smack us around.

And it will be our fault for setting him off.

How bout for once we make them afraid on how we will react if they do something?

America needs to be like Jack Tatum.

And radical Islam needs to feel like a wide receiver going over the middle after the Darryl Stingley episode.

Plant the seed in their mind: if they go over the middle, something really bad might happen.

Cause right now, they are roaming free in the green open fields.

And that will get us killed-not a preacher in Florida with a Koran & a set of matches.

Chris Christie Schools A Teacher

This is new, Christie breaks it down like no one else can:

Going After The Wrong Guy

So it looks like Reggie Bush is going to get stripped of his Heisman Trophy because he took money from an agent.

From where I sit on the Stoop they are going after the wrong USC Heisman Trophy winning running back.

Reggie Bush took money. OJ Simpson beheaded two people.

I don't know what the NCAA field manual says, but somehow, I think what OJ did is worse.

But here is a possible solution:

If they insist on taking Bush's Heisman, why don't they give it to Fred Goldman?

OJ was found liable for the wrongful death of Goldman's son, and the $38 million dollar judgment has not been satisfied.

Give Goldman the trophy, he can sell it to satisfy a small part of the judgment, and when OJ gets out, he can continue his quest to find the real killer.

Not Who They Say They Are

"He's Jordan and I'm Pippen."

That's NY Jet Antonio Cromartie reacting to Darrelle Revis signing his new contract.

The Jets already have the fake LT (Ladainian Tomlinson) and now that got football's MJ?

Please.

Revis ain't Jordan, and Cromartie is not Pippen-he is Shawn Kemp.

As for Tomlinson, they should sell his fake LT memorabilia down on Canal Street; it will fit right in with the fugazy watches and handbags.

He Would Know

So Eliot Spitzer is about to start his own show on CNN. Maybe the Governor can weigh in on Craig's List shutting down its Adult Services section. He may have some insights on that subject.

Early & Often

So Chicago's Mayor Daley announced that he won't run again. While everyone is scrambling to find out who will be the next mayor, the big question is what are they going to do with those millions of votes that have already been cast for Daley from beyond the grave? Do they send ACORN out to the graveyard to take a new head count?

Look-A-Likes: Jim Cramer & Louis CK

It's Over Johnny

You know summer is over when the grass in my beloved Prospect Park starts to resemble Joe Biden's plug-ridden hairline: clumps of faded grass & dirt where lush greens used to be.

Please Be Quiet While They Beat The Shit Out Of One Another

I just read that there was a fight in the stands at the U.S. Open. They were fighting over which preschool has a higher acceptance rate into Ivy League colleges. How does it work when a fight breaks out in a tennis match? Do the fans have to be quiet while punches are thrown so they don't ruin the concentration of the brawlers? Are planes allowed to fly over the stadium while the fight is happening?

They asked the president if he had any opinion about the U.S. Open and he said, " it's never been more open. Fuc*k Arizona."

He Has Always Been About The Green

Did you see this story on Jesse Jackson?

Detroit’s Channel 7 reports that the Reverend’s Caddy Escalade SUV was stolen and stripped of its wheels while he was in town last weekend with the UAW’s militant President Bob King leading the “Jobs, Justice, and Peace” march promoting government-funded green jobs.
Read that again: Jackson’s Caddy SUV was stripped while he was in town promoting green jobs.

How awesome.

While the good Reverend was preaching the virtues of "do as I say, not as I do" outside there was a little redistribution of the wealth going on.

Jesse takes the cake.

They may have stripped his car, but Jesse stripped himself of any decency long ago.

From the fake MLK died in my arms story, to the shakedown of corporations unless and until they donated to his organizations, to the kid he had with his mistress, to his hymietown remarks, the man is a moral and ethical disgrace.

But he is a man incapable of shame.

And we are a nation unwilling to shun him.

Here is an excerpt from Jesse's green speech:

We need an economy that creates employment that can't be shipped overseas., Home-grown American labor will be installing windmills and solar panels. A green economy is not an abstract concept.”


Maybe they used the money they got from stripping Jesse's gas guzzler to buy windmills for downtown Detroit.


And maybe the windmill company they start will grow prosperous.

And if it does, they can expect Jesse to come knocking for a donation.

And that my friends, will be the ultimate form of liberal recycling.

Matthews: Obama Needs To "Get Rid Of That Damn Teleprompter"

You would think you would sooner see a Yankee announcer criticize Jeter the tax cheater than see MSNBC (Mostly Showing Nothing But Commies) hack-host Chris Matthews chastise the Condescender in Chief. But even a water carrier like Matthews finds it hard to watch the monotonal grocery- list delivery that is the trademark of every Obama speech.

Just once, someone should slip some Wu Tang Clan lyrics into the Teleprompter and see how long he can go without catching on.

Ape Man

The chatter is getting louder: missing link monkey- boy Yankee Manager Joe Retardi might leave the Yankees for the Cubs. The deciding factor will not be dollars, but whether Chicago has better bananas than the Bronx.

When Retardi was asked to comment, he loudly grunted and flung his shit at reporters.

The Keeper of the Flame?

Imagine that prior to his rally at the Lincoln Memorial, Glenn Beck once held a protest in front of a black- owned business. And during that protest he told his supporters that he did not want any black interlopers in this white neighborhood-and one of the protesters proceeded to burn the business down while shooting and killing 7 people.

And after that Beck held a rally at the Lincoln Memorial on the MLK "I Have A Dream" anniversary. And claimed that he as the rightful heir to MLK.

How would the lame stream media react to that?

Cause that is what Sharpton did at Freddy's Fashion Mart.

Funny, I don't remember MLK mentioning "white interlopers" in his speech.

Or the Tea Partiers burnin/lootin & shooting.

Or King slandering a law enforcement official claiming that the guy raped a black child, and that he had DNA evidence to prove it.

And a host of other shit. A host.

But I saw Sharpton do it.

And he is the "go to guy" when it comes to the lame stream media for black issues?

He holds the key to the MLK legacy?

He is the gatekeeper?

It would be like letting Benedict Arnold decide who the appropriate person is to celebrate George Washington.

Is it any wonder that the media is held in contempt by so many?

Putting Us At Risk

Check out the picture from the story below, with the president riding a bike in Martha's Vineyard wearing a dopey helmet. With that helmet, he looks like he's going to ride straight to the Park Slope Food Coop to get some organic wheat germ.

I don't know if it was authored by either Hamilton or Madison, but I'm pretty sure that somewhere in the Federalist Papers, it says that if a president wears a goofy bicycle helmet, it creates a national security risk.

It's no wonder that Iran's got nukes.

Obama's End Vacation of golf, biking and bad weather‎

Describing NYC

In 1774 John Adams, on his way to Philadelphia to attend the Continental Congress, stopped off in New York. Here is his observation of New Yorkers:

"They talk very loud, very fast and all together. If they ask you ask a question, before you can utter three words of your answer, they will break upon you again and talk away."

More than 200 years later, John Rocker was sent to re-education camp by MLB when he described NYC this way:

"It's the most hectic, nerve-racking city. Imagine having to take the [Number] 7 train to the ballpark, looking like you're [riding through] Beirut next to some kid with purple hair next to some queer with AIDS right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It's depressing."

To which Colin Quinn commented:

I hate Rocker, but I have to admit the guy has ridden the 7 train."

Quote of the Day

Victor Davis Hanson breaks it down perfectly, on the radical Obama-inists, their extremist agenda, and how they bullshit when they are questioned on it:

Justice Sotomayor did not really mean that wise Latinas make better judges than white males. Van Jones did not really mean that George W. Bush was in on 9/11, or that white youths are more likely to be mass murderers, or that whites are chronic polluters of the ghetto. Eric Holder no more meant that Americans are cowards than one of Anita Dunn’s heroes really is the mass-murdering Mao. We should not believe that the top priority of the head of NASA is to advance Islamic outreach, or that the president himself thinks that police routinely act stupidly, stereotype, or arrest innocent people on their way to get their kids some ice cream. Imam Rauf did not really say that we created bin Laden, or that we kill more innocent Muslims than al-Qaeda kills innocent non-Muslims.

Going After The Wrong Guy

So now they are coming after Governor Patterson hard because he received free Yankee tickets. What am I missing here? This has to be the first time in recorded human history that a blind man is facing criminal charges for viewing an event that he can't possibly see.

It's like if Helen Keller were Governor of NY and got indicted because she received free Bose headphones.

They asked Charlie Rangel for comment, but he was too busy packing clothes in one of his four rent control apartments because he is going on a trip to the Dominican Republic to collect thousands of dollars in rent that he won't declare on his tax returns.

The Obama School

News Item:

The Barack Obama Elementary School has opened its door this morning in Prince George's County in the Washington D.C. area. This morning, Monday, was a day to go down in history. There have been other schools opened with the Obama name; however, this is the first school in the Washington D.C. area to bear the current United States president's name.

The school will remain true to its namesake:

Each classroom is equipped with teleprompters for every student.

Parents will not be required to provide their children's birth certificates.

Grades will not be revealed, but everyone will be on law review.

The maps of the United States in each classroom will include all 57 states. Obama Claims He's Visited 57 States

Indonesian history will be a big part of the curriculum.

Racial, ethnic and gender preferences will be strictly enforced.

Every student will receive a Nobel Peace Prize.

The school will be equipped with a community center.

For those children with an interest in community organizing, Professor Bill Ayers will teach bomb -building.

HOLOCAUST SURVIVER GETS CURSED OUT BY MOSQUE SUPPORTER

If there is such a thing as karma, than this guy will be walking down the street one day soon and a safe will fall on his head. What a lowlife piece of shit.

He Set Me Straight

I was confused-I thought the ACLU always took a hard stand against what they called the separation of church & state? They have brought lawsuit after lawsuit to eliminate school prayer, vouchers for poor kids to attend Catholic schools and the use of House and Senate Chaplains just to name a few. Yet, they have not brought any litigation against the use of taxpayer funds to sponsor the Ground Zero Flying Imam's Middle East tour to promote Islam or the Ramadan dinner hosted by Obama.

Surely, if the ACLU believes school prayer violates the separation of church and state requirement than how can a religious prayer breakfast/dinner conference hosted by the President in his official capacity as President not violate the same rule?

Like I said I was confused, but a friend of the Stoop cleared it up for me:

"Yes, it is true the ACLU believes in the separation of church and state, but they do not believe in the separation of mosque & state."

What Comes Around Goes Around...

When Roger Clemens is convicted of perjury the headline should be:

"From Pitcher to Catcher".

And the scenario below will be reversed:

Shouts From The Stoop: Taking One For The Team

Don't Believe The Hype

I gotta hand it to the Jets. All those years in Giants Stadium, they were model tenants, they always paid their rent on time, never made too much noise, and over a 25 year period, saved enough money to but half a house.


But like a lot of first time home buyers, they are unable to meet their mortgage payments, (they have yet to sell out the stadium) and since their is no loan modification program available, they have resorted to desperately hawking their team on this HBO show.

Have you ever seen a team that has done so little claim to be so great?

They last time they won it all Lombardi was a person, not a trophy.

This was a 9-7 team that made the playoffs when the last two teams on their schedule had nothing to play for.

In the playoffs, they beat the Chargers when the best field goal kicker in the league shanked three kicks, and when they played the Colts their so called great defense was toyed with by Peyton Manning like he was a cat and they were a ball of yarn.

But what could you expect from a defense that blew four 4th quarter leads last year?

And since then, they got rid of their best running back (Jones) an excellent offensive lineman (Faneca) and are relying on a 2nd year QB who was 2nd in the league in interceptions.

Oh yeah, there best player--by far-- is still holding out.

Not exactly the Steelers of the 70's we are talking about.

And by the way, why do they need there own show on HBO?

Antonio Cromartie already has a television show, All My Children.

Obama & Bloomy: Please Treat The Mosque Like Boy Scouts

B. Hussein Obama and the midget Mayor of NYC -like the rest of the extreme left- are trying to position themselves as 1st Amendment defenders in the mosque debate.

Don't buy the snake oil.

The fact of the matter is, the libs who say that the mosque is a 1st amendment rights issue have a long & sorry history of being hostile to the 1st amendment rights to the most American of groups: The Boy Scouts.

And they have used in the past, and continue to use to this day, the power of government to deny this group its basic 1st amendment constitutional rights.

And all the Stoop is asking is that the left treat the mosque like they treat the Boy Scouts.

Here's the story:

As we all know, the 1st amendment does not just cover the right to worship; it also grants us the right to free speech and the right to associate and express free speech.

Now if the right to associate means anything at all, it means you have the right to exclude from your group anyone at all for any reason. That's why groups like "100 Blacks in Law Enforcement" or "NOW" can exclude people based on race or gender.

The libs see these organizations as perfectly acceptable groups exercising their 1st amendment rights.

But when it comes to the Boy Scouts-it's a different story.

You see the Boy Scouts had this crazy notion that like 100 Blacks or NOW, they had the right to control their membership and message.

So they barred homosexuals from being part of the Boy Scouts. (I know, it's horrible that they excluded Andy Dick from taking part in Boy Scout sleep away camps.)

To the hard left, the Boy Scouts were the enemy within. They demanded that the Boy Scouts alter their message and include homosexuals in their organization.

First, they conducted a public relations campaign and smeared the Boy Scouts and their supporters as intolerant hate- filled monsters.

Then when the Scouts refused to alter their beliefs, the libs left did what they always do: they used the courts in an attempt to compel the Scouts to give in to their demands.

The case went all the way to the Supreme Court, which decided that the Boy Scouts had the right to admit who they want, exclude who they wished, and speak as they desired.

And after the Supreme Court decided that the left had no right to impose their views upon the Scouts, you would think the libs would back off, right?

Wrong.

That's when they went into rabid overdrive.

Their new mantra: Don't let the Scouts use any public lands or facilities.

Since the Scouts heavily rely on public space to conduct their meetings-this is an especially cruel policy, which the Scouts are fighting in courts throughout America.

Make no mistake about it, municipalities all over the country are using land use and zoning laws to deny the Scouts access to public lands, simply because they do not like the fact that they are exerting their 1st Amendment rights.

And these same people tell us that zoning laws can't be used to deny the mosque from being built at Ground Zero?

If you can do it to the Boy Scouts, why can't you do it to the mosque?

I have never heard Bloomy & Barack use their bully pulpits to announce that the Boy Scouts have the right under the constitution to exclude whom they wish and government cannot deny them access to facilities simply because the government does not agree with the Boy Scouts message.

Why don't the B & B boys (Bloomberg & Barack) work from the left's Boys Scout playbook and apply it to the mosque?

I mean, if you don't like the fact that the Scouts exclude homosexuals, you must REALLY not like that ISLAM beheads gay people, right?

So publicly denounce Islam for this barbaric practice.

And do it with the same vigor you use when you speak against those who support traditional marriage.

Denounce Islam for its teachings on homosexuality and women as property with the same passion you have when you accuse the people of Arizona for being bigots.

Demand that Islam become inclusive when it comes to homosexuality, and use the Justice Department to bring lawsuits against mosques that don't grant rights to homosexuals and women.

And if you lose in the court system, just use local land use laws and regulations to deny mosques the right to build.

And when you do all that, you will put the mosque on equal footing with how our government treats the Scouts.

And we will be doing what B. Hussein Obama said at the Ramadan dinner: treating everyone equally under the law.

Look-A-Likes: K-Rod & Zacharias Moussaoui

Liberal Sheep

Can you imagine if they put up a Christmas Manger at Ground Zero? The libs would be beside themselves with anger, and the ACLU would file a lawsuit saying that there were not enough sheep in the manger to have a proper secular purpose.

But for a mosque at Ground Zero they will swear on a stack of Korans that this needs to be built.

A Disease By Any Other Name...

Did you see this?

Yankee legend Lou Gehrig may have really died from a condition caused by concussion-like trauma, not Lou Gehrig's disease (A.L.S.), reports New York Times

This changes everything. I think that Gehrig may have gotten the concussions from Babe Ruth banging his head against the wall while yelling at him, "take a day off every once in a while, you selfish fuck!"

The Stoop is of the opinion that the Gehrig/Ripken consecutive game record is the most overrated record in sports and rooted in selfishness. In stands to reason that for the good of the team a person needs a day off every once in a while, but these guys always put themselves ahead of the team, and effectively took the lineup card out of the manager's hand. And remember, Ripken's streak started with his father as the manager, so it was one of those deals where the father plays his son no matter what, like some little league asshole manager who gets involved just to hook up his undeserving kid.

But anyway, if Gehrig died of something else, what are they calling it?

How bout Catfish Hunter's Disease?


NYT: Lou Gehrig may not have had Lou Gehrig's disease - Health ...

The Left Finds Religion

Isn't it great that the hard-left, led by the Condescender-in-Chief, B. Hussein Obama is finally embracing religious rights in America?

Of course, it took Islam and the location of the greatest slaughter in American history for them to get religion, but like they say when we allocate billions down the rat hole of useless social programs: we have a long way to go, but it's a good start.

I mean after a 50 year assault on school prayer, the pledge of allegiance, and school vouchers for poor kids to attend religious schools-they have finally seen the light.

It's funny that the only illegal alien they wanted deported was Elian Gonzalez --whose mother died escaping from Communist Cuba--and the only religious institution they have ever supported was a mosque at Ground Zero.

Liberalism will send you to crazy places.

Of Mosques & Men

In the aftermath of the 9/11 massacre of Americans, Mayor Giuliani started a charity to help the families of first responders. One of the first to donate was a Saudi Prince. In the spirit of cooperation and bridge- building, he wanted to donate $10 million dollars.

So a press conference was called, and the prince gave a little speech to go along with the $10 million dollar check. In his speech, the prince said gave lip service to the victims but his main topic was what in his view caused 9/11: America. It was our fault and our policies that made these men slaughter thousands of innocent Americans.

Remember Rudy's reaction? He gave the money back. He told him we don't need your money and how dare you shift the blame onto America.

And the whole country--except for the future president's pastor Reverend Wright--agreed with Rudy.

Fuck you and your money was something most of us could agree on.

Which brings us to the Ground Zero mosque.

It is being proposed by another Prince of Peace, Feisal Abdul Rauf.

Here is what Rauf told 60 Minutes shortly after 9/11:

"I wouldn't say that the United States deserved what happened, but the United States policies were an accessory to the crime that happened."

"In the most direct sense, Osama Bin Laden is made in the USA."

This is the man we are told is a bridge-builder.

Think about those statements.

Think about how crazed with radical religious ideology you have to be to say something like that.

Think about what Rudy told the Saudi prince when he said the same thing.

And tell me why we should not treat this man, and this mosque the same way?

"F" K-Rod

So Francisco Rodriguez beats the shit out of the grandfather of his children in front of his kids and other kids. The Mets wanted to suspend him for a long stretch but the Player's Union stepped in and said beating up and old man is only worth a two game suspension.

And he served the suspension and is back on the team.

But there is another penalty available. And the Players Union has no jurisdiction on the penalty I am talking about.

It turns out this is not Rodriguez's first violent brush with the law. He has a criminal record in California and Venezuela. For violence.

Rodriguez is a guest in this country. He has a work visa. And that visa can be revoked if he is convicted of a violent crime.

If he is convicted of beating up the grandfather, he should be deported.

As far as I know, there is nothing in our Immigration laws that grants a waiver from deportation if you throw a baseball 90 miles per hr.

Send him back home, and let's see if Hugo Chavez will pay him $13 million to play baseball.

Look-A-Likes: Scalia & Emeril

Fire Away

I was talking with Stoop contributor Robbie on George Will's column on the differences between Obama & Netanyahu. Robbie's take:

Netanyahu has fired guns in defense of his country. The only thing Obama ever fired was a stapler into a telephone pole.

7 Out Of 10....

News Item:

A CNN poll finds that more than two-thirds of Americans oppose the Ground Zero mosque.

70% of Americans do not want a mosque at Ground Zero. The other 30% want a mosque that will perform gay weddings for illegal aliens.

He Was Bamboozled

From the New York Slimes:

The party will go on — and the mayor will be in the house.
Mayor Bloomberg said he planned to attend a fund-raiser for Representative Charles B. Rangel on Wednesday night. He will join a list of attendees that has dwindled as the congressman faces charges that he violated ethics rules.


The word from the Stoop is that Bloomberg originally decided not to attend the Rangel celebration because he was troubled by Rangel's ethics violations. But Rangel's staff tricked Bloomberg into attending by telling the Mayor that the party would be held at a mosque-so expect Bloomy to be the first one to arrive.

I Asked For It

On the Stoop, I pride myself on verbal dexterity and being able to verbally spar with people and have a quick comeback to any/all remarks.

But the other day, I left my self wide open.

I was talking to a friend whose social calendar is always fully booked. Weddings, baptisms, etc. The man would go to the opening of a supermarket if he were invited.

So on Friday, I asked him what he was doing that weekend.

He told me about a wedding he was attending, and I replied that because of the radical judge in California, he may be going to some gay weddings soon.

"Yeah, yours!" was he rapid reply.

It was like it was 1987 and I was fighting Mike Tyson, and I decided to lead with my head.

And he hit me good.

I Like Mike

On Michael Savage, during the Kagan confirmation hearings, a caller starting talking about Kagan being unattractive. Savage interrupted the caller and said "Let's not comment on her appearance. Although I find it personally grotesque, let's talk about her radical, Marxist policies."

Books That Are To Die For

Weird but true: I was reading PostWar: A History of Europe Since 1945 by Tony Judt yesterday when I decided to google Judt to learn more about him. And that's when I found out he died-earlier that day.

It's an unusual feeling to google someone and find out that they had died only hours earlier.

I wanted to see if I had magic powers that I could put to good use so I typed the words "Barney Frank" but he turned out to be alive.

The Judt story reminded of a time I was in a Pittsburgh airport waiting for a connecting flight to NYC. I had a couple of hrs. to kill so I went to the airport bookstore.

You ever have a moment in a bookstore when it all comes together and you know you have to buy a book?

I had a moment like that. I saw a book I had to buy: Clemente: The Passion and Grace of Baseball's Last Hero by David Maraniss.

The book met every criteria I had: (1) a general subject I was interested in-baseball; (2) a specific topic within the general subject I wanted to learn more about-Clemente; and (3) an author whose previous work I had admired-Maraniss.

So I rushed to the counter to buy the book-and was looking forward to a couple of hrs. of pure pleasurable reading.

But as soon as I handed over the cash to the clerk I had a sudden thought that made me realize that there was no way I was going to buy that book, and I politely asked for my money back and put the book back on the shelf.

And that thought was: I am not going to read a book on a plane about a man that died in a plane crash. No fucking way. Plus the book was about a man who played for the Pirates, and I was flying from Pittsburgh.

So I just sat there and did nothing.

Tony Judt, Chronicler of History, Is Dead at 62 - Obituary (Obit ...

Frequent Flyers....

Ran into an old friend of the Stoop and we got to talking about Bloomberg's shameful position on the mosque at Ground Zero. Regarding Bloomy's statement that government never asks where the money comes from when a church is built, so why should we do so with the mosque, my pal said, "When the parishioners of St. Mary's start flying planes into buildings, trust me, we would ask where they got the money from."

Welcome Back

How awesome is it that Isiah is back? I think Vladamir Putin orchestrated this to help out my comrade -in-arms Mikhail Prokhorov and the soon-to-be-Brooklyn Nets.

Watch Isiah in his sexual harassment deposition execute his cross-over dribble when he explains why calling a black woman a bitch is more acceptable when it is done by a black man:

Here We Go Again.....

Isiah Thomas back with the Knicks? That's like NYC reelecting David Dinkins, or the Giants bringing back Ray Handley.

Look for Eddie Curry to get a max contract.

Walton Is Like Rudy....

Much like Giuliani in the post below, I am a BIG fan of Bill Walton the basketball player, but thank God in the Heaven above that he is not my father. The NYT's article linked below is an eye-opener. Here is a quote:

When Nate left Princeton for half a year, Bill called him a dropout. Nate said, 'At least I didn't cheat on my wife.'''

Bill Walton's Inside Game

No Suprise

So Giuliani's daughter got arrested for shoplifting. She's lucky her pops is still not the Mayor-she still would be sitting in the Tombs. Anyway, I always say that I'm glad Rudy was my Mayor and not my father. Seriously with the two ex- wives, the way he dragged the kids through the mud when he stepped out with his current wife, and the fact that he spend more time at Yankee Stadium than with his kids, is it any wonder the girl is a mess?

This Judge Was No Hank Aaron

The Stoop thinks it is fitting that A-Fraud hit his 600th homer and the radical San Francisco District Court judge overturned the California gay marriage ban on the same day.

Both results came about through illegitimate means: A-Fraud by taking performance enhancing drugs, and California, by having a single judge dismiss the will of 7 million voters.

A-Fraud's inflated stats and California's newly found constitutional right to gay marriage are also an affront to long-established cherished American institutions: (1) the baseball record book; and (2) heterosexual marriage.

The judge should have had John Sterling read the decision out loud.

One Question

Regarding the mosque that they want to build at Ground Zero, will somebody please ask the builders of the mosque one question: Do you support the building of Christian churches and Jewish temples in Islamic countries, particularly Saudi Arabia? I would be VERY interested in their response..

He Gets It

Last week when a federal court gave the Justice Department a preliminary ruling in the Arizona Immigration case, the decision was hailed wide and far by main stream media outlets like the New York Slimes. Yet, yesterday, when a US District Court denied Obama's attempt to throw out Virginia's lawsuit which takes dead aim at the constitutionality of Obamacare-not a word was heard.

US District Judge Henry Hudson on the expansion of the Commerce Clause: the individual mandate "literally forges new ground and extends Commerce Clause powers beyond its current high water mark." Specifically, the court recognized that there is a critical difference between the federal government regulating "a voluntary decision to perform an act" and mandating "that a person ... perform an involuntary act."

Hudson seems to get the central argument: forcing American citizens to buy a stand-alone product is beyond the reach of the Commerce Clause.

Round one is scored by the ringside judges in favor of the Constitution.

Mash It Up

When you combine Eddie Murphy in his prime, with Gleason-how can it not be the funniest shit?

A Bunch Of Pricks...

Did you know that under Obamacare, convicted sex offenders can get viagra using taxpayer funds? Senator Coburn introduced an amendment to the bill that would bar "convicted child molesters, rapists and sex offenders" from buying erectile dysfunction drugs with taxpayer money. That amendment was voted down, as only two Democrats in the Senate voted in favor of the amendment.

MEL GIBSON Vs Rep. ANTHONY WEINER

One guy is an angry, out- of- control crazed actor. The other guy made Braveheart.

The Fix Was In

Remember in Goddfellas when Tommy went to the meeting thinking he was gonna get "made" but instead he got whacked?

How bout the 1988 Seoul, Korea Olympics, when Roy Jones Jr. beat his opponent (from South Korea) pillar to post but then lost a home-team decision to South Korean judges?

Or how bout the 2006 NBA playoff series between the Spurs-Suns, in which Baldman was a heavy investor, which had Tim Donaghy as a referee?

In each case the fix was in. The result was rigged before the process began.

And that's what happened with the 9-11 Health & Compensation bill. And no one knows that better than Anthony Weiner.

Here is what what happened:

As you know, most bills before Congress get passed by having a majority vote in favor of the bill. You get one vote more than the other side-and the bill passes and is sent to the Senate.

But the liberals in Congress did not use the "majority rules" process for this bill.

They set it up by requiring a super-majority: 2/3 of Congress was needed to pass the bill.

And they knew they could never get that.

So they brought a bill to a vote which they had no intention of passing.

Which is unspeakably cruel, when you consider that you are dealing with the health and welfare of the first responders.

The question is why? Why did they do it?

Here's why:

The Democrats put the interests of illegal aliens ahead of the 9/11 heroes.

Let me explain:

To pass a bill the "majority rules" way, you have to allow other members of Congress to attach amendments to the bill.

Because Republicans wanted to make sure that only the 9/11 heroes received the benefits of the bill, they wanted to add an amendment that said illegal aliens were not eligible to receive any benefits from the bill.

Not a dime.

Since there are citizenship and residency requirements to be a firefighter or policemen-it seems like a very reasonable provision-right?

Shouldn't every penny go to the heroes?

Isn't that the obligation of our elected officials-to make sure that the money goes ONLY to those who it is intended for?

Do you have any doubt that if left to their own devices, the radical libs in Congress would turn this bill into an open-ended entitlement program?

Even if you told them that it can only go to cops & firemen, libs like Pelosi & Weiner would argue: "The cop who was a 9/11 first responder used a nightstick that was made from a tree from Mexico. Therefore Mexico helped us on 9/11-because we were all Americans that day."

And that's how you end up with illegal aliens getting paid off on the 9/11 bill.

Think that's a stretch?

Don't you see how these people think?

Look at affirmative action.

It was designed to help those African-Americans who are the descendants of slavery or suffered from the Jim Crow laws in the American South-all admirable goals.

But once the liberals in Congress got it's hand on it-affirmative action was extended to groups that never suffered under slavery or Jim Crow.

You could be a millionaire immigrant from Zaire and qualify for affirmative action.

Or a Hispanic.

Neither suffered from slavery or Jim Crow.

Neither are supposed to qualify for affirmative action.

But they do-because of liberals in Congress and the Courts-they do.

So with liberals the exception not only becomes the rule-it overwhelms the rule.

And that's what Republicans were trying to stop here.

By putting in provisions that the money go to only 9/11 heroes-Republicans were doing the right thing here.

But liberals see illegal aliens as their core constituency group.

Think about the absurdity of that.

So they did not want to be put in the position that would make them vote on a bill that would put them on the record of choosing the heroes over the illegal aliens.

To the libs, that was too much to bear.

So they rigged the process-and did not allow any amendments.

But when you do so it requires a 2/3 super majority-which they knew they could NEVER get.

So they stood with the illegal aliens over the 9/11 heroes.

All that needed to happen to pass this bill was to add an amendment that said illegal immigrants could not qualify for the funds.

And never let anyone tell you any different.

No Comparison

Before A-Fraud Roidriguez hits his 600th steroids-aided homer, I wanted to post Ted Williams' last at bat, which of course was a homer. The whole world wanted Williams to acknowledge the fans by tipping his cap, but he hadn't done it in 19 years, ans wasn't about to do it then.

Here is how John Updike famously wrote about that moment in The New Yorker:

Like a feather caught in a vortex, Williams ran around the square of bases at the center of our beseeching screaming. He ran as he always ran out home runs—hurriedly, unsmiling, head down, as if our praise were a storm of rain to get out of. He didn't tip his cap. Though we thumped, wept, and chanted "We want Ted" for minutes after he hid in the dugout, he did not come back. Our noise for some seconds passed beyond excitement into a kind of immense open anguish, a wailing, a cry to be saved. But immortality is nontransferable. The papers said that the other players, and even the umpires on the field, begged him to come out and acknowledge us in some way, but he never had and did not now. Gods do not answer letters.

Keeping It Real

Darryl Strawberry is opening up a restaurant in Queens next week called "Strawberry's Sports Grill." It will be filled with baseball memorabilia from Straw's playing days, but it will have one thing that will set in apart from your run-of-the-mill sports restaurant: When you use the men's room, you get to see actual members of the 1986 Mets snorting coke.


Strawberry's Queens eatery to open next week The Real Deal New ...

Just Wondering

With the Chelsea Clinton wedding this weekend, like everyone else, I'm wondering: who is Bill bringing as his date?

Make It Happen

It's gonna happen. It's inevitable. So why not make it memorable? I'm talking Alex Roidriguez who is one homer away from 600.

Let's have Bonds, Sosa and McGwire greet him with chest bumps after he rounds the bases.

And get Roger to throw a shattered bat at him.

Maybe we can have Lance Armstrong ride his bike along side A-Roid as he trots around the bases.

And when he gets toward the dugout, Bill Romanowski could spit on him.

Round One

So Judge Bolton issued a preliminary injunction blocking Arizona from implementing its Immigration law. Of course, that is not the last word, but some thoughts:

1) The decision has no basis in law. None. The Arizona law does not pre-empt federal law; it mirrors it. Exactly. Always remember that.

2) Telling Arizona that it cannot enforce its immigration laws because it would produce a strain/drain on the feds is tantamount to a judge saying you can't enforce murder/robbery or any other law because there are not enough jails and therefore it would jam up the judicial system. It's senseless.

3) Obama is the racial arsonist in chief. He poisoned the well early on by saying that "a Hispanic could be walking the down the street eating ice cream with his kid and the police could stop him and ask for his papers." He knew the Arizona law DOES NOT ALLOW that. He just wanted to demonize the good people of Arizona. Never forget that.

4) Bolton was appointed by Clinton. When you elect Clinton & Obama, you end up with Bolton & Sotomayor. In legal jargon, these activist judges are called "the fruit of the poisonous liberal." Ever the more reason to oppose Kagan-real hard. They had Dead Kennedy slander Bork. They had their minions trump up fraudulent sexual harassment charges against Clarence Thomas. And we have Lindsey Graham asking Kagan where she went to dinner for Christmas. Enough.

5) After all the demagoguery by the racial arsonist in the White House, the Justice Department, the left wing press, the ACLU, the libs in Congress, and the rest of that cabal, after all that, 75% of Americans support the Arizona law. That is 3 out of 4. There is strength in numbers, folks.

Look-A-Likes: Michael Steele & Humpty

Sam The Man

The NY Times examines the first 5 years of the Roberts Court today, and while I disagree with many of its assertions, this one it gets right:

Though Chief Justice Roberts gets all the attention, Justice Alito may thus be the lasting triumph of the administration of President George W. Bush. He thrust Justice Kennedy to the court’s center and has reshaped the future of American law.

Everybody talks about Roberts-Scalia & Thomas, and rightfully so. These men (especially Scalia & Thomas) will be carved into the Mount Rushmore of conservative Justices. But Sam Alito slips through the cracks, and his excellence is often overlooked and underrated.

He is like James Worthy was with the Lakers. Everyone remembers Magic & Kareem, but Worthy is a Hall of Famer as well-and who knows how much they would have won without him?

Alito replaced Sandra Day O'Connor-and amen to that.

And remember, Alito wasn't even Bush's first choice-he tried to put his version of Elena Kagan on the Court, Harriet Miers-but conservatives rose up and said "get the fuck out of here with Harriet Miers".

Alito for O'Connor is one of the best trades since the pilgrims bought Manhattan from the Indians.

Quote of the Day

"You know, physically, he was just a pussy," - Mike Tyson on Che Guevara in Details magazine.

Golden State Is Lucky....

Just when you think all athletes are self-absorbed spoiled brats, you read about former New York Knick David Lee below and you realize how wrong you would be. The Knicks may be able to replace his scoring and rebounding, but finding someone to replace him as a man will be impossible.

On Basketball - Traded by Knicks, David Lee Was Still a Team ...

Yogi Can Breathe Easier...

Former Yankee manager Ralph Houk died yesterday. To ensure team attendance, the memorial service will be held at the 40/40 Club.

More Information Please...

Regarding the Shirley Sherrod matter:

In the 24/7 news cycle, she has been first vilified and now martyred. I don't know which position is the right one, and neither do you. But what will give us a better understanding of Ms. Sherrod is a "follow the money" analysis of all government grants/loans etc. that she approved and rejected both at her non-profit jobs and in the Department of Agriculture. The analysis would be able to shed light on whether she has a pattern and practice of denying people access to government subsidies on the basis of race and ethnicity. And if the analysis proves that she treated people equally, she should be praised. If it shows that she discriminated, than she should be removed.

Unfortunately, the Justice Department, which is the agency that would perform the analysis, is headed by Eric Holder, who is so incompetent, he makes Janet Reno look like Clarence Darrow.

We Are In Serious Jeopardy

You want proof that this country is doomed? Watch the video below. These kids are shown a picture and asked to identify the man in the picture. The man is Ronald Reagan. And none of them could do it.

Whether you like him or not, Reagan is a monumental figure in American history. And he is being written out of our history books in our own lifetimes.

The history classes in American schools spend about 10 minutes on the Cold War. It goes like this "The Soviet Union had their system, and we had ours. Their goal was to bring prosperity to the masses, and they were not able to achieve their goal because of the massive economic pressure applied by the American government. Now let's turn to the rise of Barack Obama.......

Here's hoping that there were 3 horrified fathers that took off their belt and whipped their kids once Trebek went to a commercial....

The New Benedict Arlen

South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham was the only Republican on the Judiciary Committee to vote in favor of Elena Kagan's nomination. Here is his explanation:

But I understood — we lost; President Obama won. The Constitution in my view puts a requirement on me not to replace my judgment for his.”

What a statement. The man says the Constitution does not require him to question Obama's judgment when it comes to Supreme Court nominations? A job with a lifetime appointment, with no means of removal, that makes decisions that affects all of our lives?

And what Obama says goes?

What exactly does "advice and consent" mean?

The woman has never even been a Traffic Court judge.

She exhibited actual animus by throwing the military off campus-at a time when we were fighting two wars.

Graham is as wrong as could be. But if you examine his record--he is an open borders man-- it is no surprise.

He has officially taken Benedict Arlen Specter's place. And what happened to Benedict Arlene should happen to him.

South Carolina: add this man to the unemployment rolls.

You Will Live On....

To the friends of Baldman:

Taking a cue from my fearless leader, Derek Jeter, I want you all to know that should you die before me, I will not attend your funeral. In fact, I am so self absorbed, I will not even realize that your funeral took place. However since there are many ways to honor people, I ask that each of you tape record your voice saying my name: "Alex Baldman". Send the tape to the Stoop. When you die, I will use your voice from the grave on my voicemail. I do that because it is all about you.

Baldman.

Artie Lange, Bob Sheppard & Lawrence Taylor

I found the Artie Lange bit on Bob Sheppard announcing LT's life:

Bigger Fish To Fry

The NAACP has --what a shock-- denounced the Tea Party as racist. I was going to write about it, but Pat Buchanan says all that needs to be said:

If discrimination means favoring people or opposing people based on race, two questions arise. Is that not pretty much the job description of the NAACP? And when has the tea party advocated hirings, promotions or school admissions based on race?

Remarkable. In the black community, the jobless rate is 15 percent, the dropout rate is sometimes 50 percent, the illegitimacy rate is over 70 percent, nearly a million black Americans are in jail, prison or juvenile detention -- and the NAACP is passing resolutions denouncing some guys carrying signs portraying Obama as The Joker.

A Classy Bunch

It was just too bad that not a single player whose name Sheppard introduced, ever so properly and eloquently, over 57 years as the Yankees' P.A. announcer, was among those paying their final respects to the "Voice of God." Even if one player - certainly one among the former players employed by the team for this very purpose - would have shown up, it would have provided a touch of class... Bill Madden

Where were you Henry?-Goodfellas

Say it isn't so. Bob Sheppard- the man who was the public address announcer at Yankee Stadium since before the microphone was even invented- dies and not one Yankee shows up to his funeral? How can this be? What happened to Yankee tradition? And class? I thought they did everything the right way?

I thought they would have had Bernie Williams playing Ava Maria on his guitar to open the service-that didn't happen?

And have it arranged so that Mariano walked into the church to the sounds of "Enter Sandman".

What about the starting infield? They had to be there-right? I mean the Bleacher Creatures, those wonderfully trained seals, were in the back of the church ready to rhythmically clap and chant their names until they received a tip of the cap from their Yankee heroes. And those players were a no show? Listen, we really have to hand it to those Bleacher Creatures. They put on two shows a day at the Coney Island Aquarium and then take the D train all the way to the Bronx. I hope their trainer throws them a few extra fish for their efforts.

And what about the gorilla-faced monkey-boy Yankee Manager Joe Retardi? He couldn't make it? This missing link of a man blew of the legendary Bob Sheppard's funeral? I know there was a lot of traffic-but he couldn't swing from tree to tree and get there? But to be honest, Retardi has come a long way. One minute he's on the Discovery Channel being harpooned with a tranquillizing dart and fitted with a device to track his movements, the next thing you know, you turn on the YES Network and there he is, making his way to the mound to take out AJ Burnett while Michael Kay says "this call to the jungle is brought to you by Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom". If you look real close, the YES cameras will catch Retardi picking the nits out of his chest.

And speaking of managers, how could they have a solemn church service without Saint Joseph of Torre? With Zim seating next to him giving advice whenever the camera was on them-like in the old days? Saint Joseph walks on water-he couldn't get to a church on Long Island?

Now, if anyone knows about tradition, and respect for Yankee history, it's Roger Clemens. I mean, before every start, right before coming in from the bullpen, wouldn't he wipe his brow with Babe Ruth's cock? That's commitment to excellence right there. Why didn't he show? Did his indictment come down?

And the beloved CORE FOUR. Combined, they have played about 1,000 years with our beloved Yankees. Bob Sheppard has said their names out loud more times than their parents have.

And they blew him off.

Maybe they were taking their cue from the classiest Yankee of them all, Derek "The Tax Cheater" Jeter.

Here is the Jeter's the Tax Cheater's lame statement:

To be quite honest with you, I didn't even know his funeral was (Thursday). Having said that, I don't necessarily think you have to go to a funeral to honor somebody. That's the reason I've recorded his voice throughout the years and I will continue to honor him every time I go to the plate for the rest of my career.

He did not know there was a funeral? What did they think they did with his body, burn it and dump it into the Hudson? As a friend of mine said, "He should have asked me-I knew there was going to be a funeral for Bob Sheppard. Because that is what happens when people die, they have a funeral."

Regarding Jeter's claim that he uses Sheppard's voice to announce his at bats as a way of honoring Sheppard-that is about as valid as Clemens saying Andy (Family Man) Pettite "misremembered" when he testified before Congress and said that Roger hooked him up with steroids.

How exactly is he honoring Sheppard? By having a personalized vanity greeting that no one else on the team gets to have? Sounds like a guy getting an extra perk. Sounds like a guy singling himself out selfishly from the team. Sounds like a guy who wants to honor himself. Sounds like a guy who at this point has less range than Bob Sheppard does at shortstop.

Jeter would have showed if the family agreed to use Bob Sheppard's voice to announced his arrival into the church.

When you consider that the Yankees have been playing baseball since the game was invented, it really is mind-boggling that NOT ONE past or present Yankee showed up to honor Sheppard.

Given the huge volume of former Yankees running around, you would think a couple of them would have stumbled into the church by accident or that Luis Sojo would have had a landscaping business on Long Island and would have stopped by to pay his respects.

But it is never to late to learn how to do the right thing. The classy thing. Even for teams that were owned by a man who, as we speak, is probably wearing his trademark turtleneck while burning in hell right now-as the devil pokes him with a pitchfork shaped with the famous interlocking "NY."

And they could learn by emulating how the Mets handled the death of their version of Bob Sheppard-the beloved Bob Murphy, who died of lung cancer in August 2004.

Here is the New York Times account of Bob Murphy's funeral, which took place at St. Patrick's Cathedral:

In the crowd of about 1,200 in the cathedral were fans in Mets jerseys and T-shirts; current Mets Mike Piazza, Al Leiter, John Franco and Manager Art Howe, and the former Mets Keith Hernandez, Bud Harrelson, Ed Charles and Ed Kranepool.
Ralph Kiner, an original Mets voice like Murphy and the late Lindsey Nelson, was there. So were Joan Hodges and Maxine Agee, whose late husbands and Murphy are forever linked to the 1969 Mets, who won the World Series over Baltimore.

Players were there. Former players were there. Announcers. Widows of Met players and their families. And of course: Met fans.

But the Mets are not the Yankees you see.

And lets hope they never will be.

And Taylor.....

People forget that Bob Sheppard was also the Giants PA announcer. And I may be going out on a limb, but I'm going to take a guess that Wellington Mara was a nicer boss than the convicted felon who owned the Yankees. Anyway, the great Artie Lange had a funny bit on Sheppard and Lawrence Taylor. Lange said that LT was so dominant and was in on every tackle, and as a result every Bob Sheppard call ended with the words "And Taylor". Sheppard would announce: Dorset for two yards... tackle by Carson... Banks... and Taylor....

Lange thought it would be cool if Sheppard followed LT around and announced everything he did. It went like this: "A Dominican Hooker.... An 8 ball of coke...... and Taylor"

Get Rid Of It

Never forget that this health care law is such a massive runaway entitlement program, that if liberal hero FDR was alive, he would fall out of his wheelchair in disgust.

Wonder If They Found Any Box Cutters From 2001?

Did you see that they found an 18th Century ship at the World Trade Center site? The progress for building a new tower is so slow, it's like they are in a time machine and finding shit from 200 years ago. In the year 2200, look for the WTC workers who will still be building the tower to find bulldozers from 2010 at the site.

What a disgrace with the delays with this tower.

40 years from now it will still be an open pit-with a shining new mosque nearby.


18th-Century Ship Found at Trade Center Site‎ -

The Bride

Chelsea Clinton's wedding day is approaching, and that made me think of a joke that John McCain used to tell:

Question: Why does Chelsea Clinton look the way she does?

Answer: Because Janet Reno is her father.

When you spend 7 years in a Vietnamese prison camp, you are allowed to tell (funny) jokes like that and remain in public life.

Crash

Dock Ellis has gotta go down as a Stoop Yankee All Star. In April 1977, the Yankees were slumping, and George was busting everybody's balls, probably firing a few secretaries and the elevator operator to show he was the BOSS. Anyway, Ellis commented on the the bright side of losing:

"The more we lose, the more Steinbrenner will fly in. And the more he flies, the better the chance there will be a plane crash.”

Take It Upstairs

I love this tirade-especially how Goose refers to Steinbrenner:

Birds Of Beauty

There is so much in life for you to feel
Unfound in white, red, or yellow pills
A mind excursion can be such a thrill,
You please satisfy,
Take a chance and ride
The bird of beauty of the sky.-Stevie Wonder

Remember that commercial from the 1970's with the Indian with the tear in his eye because of the pollution? I had one of those moments last night.

The federal government-in a brutally efficient manner- invaded my slice of heaven-Prospect Park-and removed and killed all the geese from the lake.

They are all gone.

And unlike the Mossad, they did not even spare one to warn all the future geese.

As anyone who knows me well can attest, I spend a lot of time (every day) in Prospect Park. And an inordinate amount of that free time is spent by the lake admiring the wonders of nature: the geese, swans and ducks.

It's my favorite place in the world to read.

But it has been forever altered.

The reason the feds gave: the geese are dangerous to planes.

Who knew 100 years after the Wright Brothers, that this would pose a problem?

But that is what you get when you have a President who thinks geese are a bigger threat than terrorists when it comes to air safety.

But seriously, the geese in Prospect Park are a great example of how the federal and local governments can never get on the same page.

A couple of weeks ago, a lot of park people noticed there was one goose that had an arrow stuck in its neck. It was horrible and the word went out to try to grab the goose and get it the proper medical attention. After a few weeks of trying, the park rangers were finally able to subdue the goose, get it to the vet, and have the arrow removed.

That goose was returned to the lake-it was a great feel good story.

Little did we know.

That goose was rounded up with the rest of them and killed.

So while the local government was busy saving geese, the feds had plans to kill the very same geese.

Who knew that the geese of Prospect Park would have been better off in the Gulf of Mexico covered in BP oil?


400 Prospect Park Geese Are Killed‎

It's Over

So after a couple of hours of men running around in short pants, Spain beat the Netherlands (isn't that the name of Michael Jackson's house?) 1-0 in the World Cup. Although, to be fair to the Netherlands, it must be hard to kick a ball and run around when you wear wooden shoes.

Now go away for four years.

Free At Last

Leave it to Jesse to cry racism in a crowded theater:

The Rev. Jesse Jackson says Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert sees LeBron James as a "runaway slave" and that his comments after the forward decided to join the Miami Heat put the player in danger.....Jackson says Gilbert's comments "personify a slave master mentality"...

Much like the living / breathing constitution, the definition of runaway slave has changed with time. It used to mean a person sold into bondage and defined by law as property that escaped to freedom. It now means-according to Jesse- when a person decides to reject a $100 million dollar job in one state in order to accept a $100 million job in another state.

I almost feel sorry for Jesse. The Reverend Al has taken over the lion's share of the race racketeering business, and the White House is occupied by a black man, which leaves Jesse with very little to do.

With all that extra free time, you would think Jesse could have put it to good use by spending quality time with the child the very married Jesse had out of wedlock with the woman who worked for him in one of the very honorable organizations run by the good reverend.

Maybe he should introduce himself to the kid and take him to see Lebron play in Miami.

"He's Dead. Dead."

Bob Sheppard dead at 99. When George head the news, he asked his secretary to get Billy Martin on the line because he wanted to break the news to him personally. The poor bastard worked until he was 97. The Yankees finally got around to announcing his retirement last November. Below is the Stoop post on Sheppard's retirement:


"I'm Done. Done."

Did you see that Bob Sheppard has announced that he is retiring as the Yankee public address announcer? I wonder, did he make his retirement announcement over the Yankee public address system in the third Yankee Stadium? How cool would it have been to hear that:

"I announce that I quit. I quit".

Talk about things that are past due- the guy is going to be 100 years old next year! That means he has been cashing social security checks since Mickey Mantle was playing.

The guy is so old, he got his last name from his previous occupation.

When Sheppard first started announcing, the PA system wasn't even invented yet. He would open the press box window and yell at the top of his lungs.

Imagine the poor bastard who was Sheppard's backup? Every winter he probably thought, "I'm finally gonna get the job".

That guy probably died years ago.

Bob Sheppard held on to his job for so long, he makes Cal Ripken look lazy.

I tell you, Sheppard was either the most dedicated person who ever lived or outright crazy.

Think about it: Say your 90 years old. Are you gonna travel to the Bronx for ANY REASON WHATSOEVER?

And after commuting to the Bronx, you have to work? And since baseball has no clock, you never know when the workday is finished- who would do that?

Hard To Swallow

Steve Somers of WFAN had on Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest winner Joey Chestnut. He asked: "Tell me Joey, can you eat Luis Castillo's contract?"

Just Admit It

The Yankees issued a statement from George Steinbrenner the other day thanking everybody for the kind birthday wishes. In a related development, they also issued another statement, from Lou Gehrig, reminding Yankee fans to not drink and drive.

She is Like Yaz

The great Nick Dipaolo on Elena Kagan:

Moderate my ass. If she was any more to the left she would be standing in front of the Green Monster.

Hey

I will be back on Friday....

Glenngary Glen Ross Soviet-Style: Pursuit of Lebron

PUT THAT VODKA DOWN. VODKA IS FOR CLOSER'S.

This is the talk Mikhail Prokhorov had with Avery Johnson prior to the Nets meeting with Lebron:


Let me have your attention for a moment. 'Cause you're talkin' about what...you're talkin' 'bout...bitchin' about free agency.., some son of a bitch don't want to sign with the Nets, somebody don't want what you're selling, so forth, let's talk about something important.

(Sees Avery Johnson pouring vodka). Put that Vodka down! Vodka's for closer's only. You think I'm fuckin' with you? I am not funkin' with you. I'm here from Moscow. I'm here for Vladimir Putin. And I'm here on a mission of mercy.

Your name's Avery Johnson?

Avery Johnson: Yes.

You call yourself a coach, you son of a bitch?

Avery Johnson: I don't gotta listen to this shit.

You certainly don't pal 'cause the good news is you're fired. The bad news is you got , just one week to regain your job, starting with tonight, starting with tonight's meeting with Lebron. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to the free agent market. As you all know, first prize is Lebron. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is Eddie Curry. Third prize is you're sent to THE GULAG. You get the picture? You laughing now? You got a meeting with Lebron.. Putin & Prokhorov paid good money for the Nets to get Lebron to sign a contract. You can't close the deal with Lebron, you can't close shit, you are shit, hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going to THE GULAG.

You can't play in the man's game, you can't close out Lebron? Then go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life. Get Lebron to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me you fuckin' faggot?

ABC. A, Always, B, Be, C, Closing. Always be closing. Always be closing. AIDA. Attention. Interest. Decision. Action. Attention. Do you have Lebron's attention? Interest. Is Lebron interested? I know he is 'cause it's fuck or walk. You close or you hit the Gulag, comrade. Decision. Has Lebron made his decision for Christ? And action. AIDA. Get out there. You got Lebron coming in, you think he's coming in to get out of the rain? Lebron doesn't meet with you lest he wants to sign with the Nets. He's sitting out there waiting to take my money. Are you going to make him take it? Are you man enough to make him take it? (To Avery Johnson) What's the problem, pal?

Avery Johnson: You, boss, you're such a hero, you're so rich, how come you're coming down here and wasting your time with a bum like me?

You see this watch? You see this watch?

Avery Johnson: Yeah.

That watch costs more than your House. I made 15 BILLION dollars last year, how much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father. Fuck you, go home and play with your kids. You want to work here, SIGN LEBRON. You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cock-sucker! You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get from Pat Riley? If you don't like it, leave. I can go out there tonight, and get Lebron to sign. In two hours. Can you? Can you?

Go and do likewise. Get mad you son-of-a-bitch. Get mad. You know what it takes to sign Lebron? It takes brass balls to sign Lebron. Go and do likewise. The money's out there for Lebron, you get him to sign. If you don't, I got no sympathy for you. You want to go out in that meeting with Lebron and close, close, it's yours, if not, you're going to be shining my shoes in the Gulag. And you know what you'll be saying. A loser sitting around in the Gulag: ''Oh yeah, I used to be in the NBA. It's a tough racket.''

Heir Coryell

I just read that Don Coryell died. My first reaction was "I thought he was already dead". That ever happen to you? It happened recently when Art Linkletter died as well. Years ago, I thought of a game show "Dead or Alive?" in which you give the contestants names of people who have not been in the public eye for years and they have to guess whether the person was dead or alive. If the person was alive, and the contestant thought they were dead, you have the old fuck show up from behind a curtain. I thought of this game show idea about 10 years ago, when a friend and I both swore that Buddy Ebsen was dead, and we looked him up on the Internet and not only was he alive, he was selling paintings via the Internet! We were blown away that a guy we thought was dead was not only alive, but was using the most modern of all technologies to earn a living.