Thursday, January 20, 2011

When Jim Met Joe

If there is a more useless job in America than the NFL sideline reporter, please let me know.  They add nothing to the broadcast; no keen insights, no interesting tidbits, nothing.  When I came across the highlight above, it reminded me of the last time something memorable came out of the the sideline announcer's pie hole.

The play above is an 1986 NFC playoff game between the Giants-49ers.  Jim Burt comes up to middle to destroy Joe Montana.  If you hit a quarterback like that today, the police would cuff you and take you away before the next snap. The play was right before the half and Montana looked dead, like he got hit by a truck. So by the looks of it, you would think there was no way Montana could come back in the second half.  But you have to remember: this was Joe Fuckin Montana.  He was already a legend who could strike fear into everybody's heart.

So during halftime there was only one question:  Is Montana going to play?  Do you believe what your eyes told you, (that Montana was hit so hard, he thought his last name was North Dakota) or do you believe in the Montana legend, whereby he would shake off the injury and start throwing bombs to Jerry Rice?

So we waited for the report from the sideline reporter, Irv Cross.  CBS stationed Cross right outside the 49er locker room, where he announced to the nation:

The report on Montana is that EVERYTHING hurts, and he will not be back.

And that was the last time the sideline reporter ever said anything memorable.       

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