Saturday, January 30, 2010

Stoop Learning

Sometimes, it's too cold on the Stoop and you have to go inside. Today, Baldman came in from the cold and for the first time went on this website:

What a great website. It has tons of videos from C-SPAN, and it is very easy to find anything you may be interested in. Just today, I watched Justice Scalia debating Jusice Breyer on judicial philosophy; Robert Caro lecturing on urban planning; and Pete Hamill opining on all things Brooklyn from the Brooklyn Public Library.

Check it out.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Eric (The Extra Point) Holder

From the Associated Press:

The Obama administration is considering several steps that would review the legality of the controversial Bowl Championship Series, the Justice Department said in a letter Friday to a senator who had asked for an antitrust review.

Awesome. The Justice Department must have a lot of free time on its hands if its investigating the college football bowl system. What's next, a Justice Department lawsuit attempting to set aside the Saints win over the Vikings because the NFL overtime rules are unfair to the team that loses the coin flip?

If the Justice Department wants to meddle with college football, here is Baldman's suggestion:

Bring an eminent domain proceeding against Joe Paterno's eyeglasses. The lenses on those things are so goddamn thick, the feds could use it for solar power to heat all of Western Pennsylvania.

Quote of The Day

The Democrats have a war room for everything but war.-Dennis Miller

Hold A Draft

In the State of the Union address, the President claimed that he wants to reach out across the aisle and work with Republicans. If he is serious, he will get rid of those Chairman Mao admirers that he surrounds himself with and take this advice from the Stoop:

Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens, who will turn 90 in a few months, began his career as the bass player in Led Zeppelin before moving on to the Supreme Court. But all bad things must come to an end, and he will retire soon. Baldman has conducted extensive research, and has come up with 9 candidates to fill the Stevens seat. Each candidate has impeccable credentials. Since it is so hard to choose one candidate from this amazing group, Baldman recommends that Obama hold an NBA-STYLE draft lottery with each name in an envelope. If Obama holds the draft on live television, it will satisfy the American appetite for "reality TV" while also giving the PREZ a chance to engage in one of his precious "teachable moments".

Because Obama is a firm believer in transparency, he should publicly reveal each of the 9 candidates by having them come out from behind the curtain moments before the draft. It would be Obama channeling his inner- David Stern as he calls each of the candidates below to the podium:

Ann Scalia

Eugene Scalia

John Scalia

Catherine Scalia

Mary Clare Scalia

Paul Scalia

Matthew Scalia

Christopher Scalia

Margaret Scalia

Each one has an impeccable qualification: their father is Justice Scalia. Trust me, we can't go wrong no matter who wins the lottery.

Your move, Mr. Prez.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Put Him In The Bathroom

Eddie Mush was a degenerate gambler. He was the world's biggest loser. He was "Mush" because everything he touched turned to mush. At the track, the teller would give him his tickets ripped up. -A Bronx Tale

The Kentucky Wildcats were riding high. They were undefeated, the number one team in all of college basketball. The sky was the limit. Or so they thought. Yesterday, Kentucky Coach John Calipari received the dreaded phone call. From Obama. He congratulated Calipari on having the best team in the country. You know what, some phone calls you are better off not taking. A few hours later, Kentucky played a horrible South Carolina team. And lost. Chicago was going to get the Olympics. Then Obama took the reins and spearheaded the bid. Chicago lost. Corzine had Jersey locked up. He trots out Obama. And then he lost. Coakley had a 30 point lead and Obama by her side. And she lost fathead Ted's seat. He probably called Conan and congratulated him when he took over the Tonight Show. What a mush.

Mush: I'm betting on Sonny.

Sonny: I don't want your money touching mine.

Mush: What, it's counterfeit? My money's no good no more? Why?

Sonny: Because you're a fucking jinx, that's why! Put him in the bathroom! Get him out of here! Get in there, you fucking loser mutt! Leave him in there!

It's All About Him

The video link at the bottom is awesome. It splices together the number of times that Obama referred to himself on his recent Ohio "Man of the People" fake populist tour. Truth be known, Baldman was on to this a while ago, and even used the "You're So Vain" angle in this post:
Ego Trippin' Out

132: The Number of Times Obama Refers to Himself in One Speech

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Progressive Presidency

After a year of historic failure, and with the State of the Union Address pending, Obama is trying to remake himself as a populist politician. Like an amateur boxer who telegraphs his every punch, you can see it coming very easily. Just look at his attack on banks & bonuses. But here's the deal: Obama trying to be a populist is like Baldman trying on a pair of pants with a 32 inch waist-it doesn't fit. It doesn't suit him. Why? Because he is a progressive leftist to his marrow. He is not among the people; he is above them. He knows what's good for you. He believes you just don't get it. He thinks you "cling"-his word, not mine- to your guns & gods. He actually thinks health care failed because he was too busy on policy and as a result did not take the time to explain it to the stupid masses. As Krauthammer said, the guy was on TV more than Regis-talking health care 24/7. Doesn't it seem that this health care "debate" is like a never ending Jerry Lewis telethon? Just when you think its over, Jerry brings out Tony Orlando, & Obama babbles on incessantly about public options and Cadillac plans. (That's two Jerry Lewis references in as many days.) But seriously, as a flame throwing progressive, Obama has to believe that his year -long obsession with health care was a failure of the American public to understand what was best for them. Because progressives always know what's best for all of us. I'm sure in his mind, Obama thinks all he has to do is engage in one of his "teachable moments"-just to show us how good he is to us.

But like Verne Troyer driving the lane against Mutombo, he should be rejected.

Heaven Is A Playground Part II

(John Jay was the name of the public high school in Park Slope. About 10 years ago, the Park Slope progressives got together and changed the name of the school and also tried to limit the number of kids attending John Jay from East New York, Flatbush & Bed Sty. It was change they could believe in. To this day, I don't know what they call the school now. It will always be John Jay to me, much like some people always call Kareem "Lew Alcindor". Anyway, John Jay schoolyard was always a place where something fun was going on. There's a trillions of stories that came out of that place. Below is one story about a guy who is no longer around, but he is a sure- fire first ballot John Jay Schoolyard Hall of Famer.)

The past is never dead. It's not even past.- Faulkner

True story I will remember until I am senile:

It is the summer of 1979. The year the Pirates won the World Series. I am 13, Darryl Wheatley is 17. We play a game of stick ball, pitching in, upstairs in John Jay schoolyard.

Wheatley is up first. He decides that for each at bat, he will be a Pittsburgh Pirate, and as such, will mimic that Pirate's batting stance. He proceeds to hit line drive after line drive. He is batting lefty as Willie Stargell; mimicing Stargell's exaggerated windmill warm up swings. He is Dave Parker. He is Al Oliver. He goes through the whole goddamn lineup batting lefty, batting righty, and using a different stance for each at bat.

Since I can only get to bat when Wheatley makes an out, I grow very frustrated. The guy just keeps lashing line drives. Finally, I tell him I am going to move up several feet and pitch from a closer spot.

Darryl tells me it is OK for me to move up and pitch to him; but he had to warn me: when guys move the pitching mound up a few feet, he had been known to hit a line drive back thru the box directly into the guy's privates.

I swear to Christ, the very next pitch, no sooner than I let it go, it was rocketed back at me, like something launched from the Kennedy Space Center. The ball hit by Wheatley was a missile that landed at the speed of light right at my nut sack.

I screamed in pain; I looked at Wheatley, he was on the ground shaking with laughter.

To me, announcing that you are going to hit a guy in the nuts with a line drive and then making it come true on the next pitch is more impressive than Babe Ruth's called shot.

Only in John Jay Schoolyard, and only by Darryl Wheatley.

Left to Right, Left to Right....

For President Obama, the TelePrompter is like American Express: he can't leave the White House without it. He even uses it when he speaks in a 6th grade classroom (see link below). If White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs ever announces that the President has laryngitis, just know what he really means is that the Teleprompter is broken.

RealClearPolitics - Video - Obama Uses Teleprompters During Speech ...

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Park Slope Version Of Carbon Offsets

Are you familiar with carbon offsets? The progressive Hollywood types who always preach about the environment use this practice to justify their 'do-as I say not as I do' lifestyle.

Here is how it works: You use your private jet to travel around the world. As a result, your carbon footprint is bigger than Jerry Lewis' head was a few years ago. But you can offset your carbon footprint and remain in the good graces of the green movement by donating money to plant trees in a third world country. If you say it sounds like being forgiven by the Church after you deposit a lot of cake into the collection plate, you will not get any argument from Baldman.

In Park Slope, they have their own version of the carbon offset-with a slight twist. It goes like this: you donate money to Haitian earthquake relief, and you offset your contribution by not paying your West Indian nanny the money you owe her for working overtime.

But always remember that they care. They really care.

Week In Review

What a great goddamn week we just had! Let's have a little recap:

Scott Brown

He went behind enemy lines and drove a stake through the heart of Obama's dreadful health care plan. And did it in the most liberal state in the nation. And took Teddy's seat. I hope they give him Teddy's old Senate desk, its probably filled with empty vodka bottles & trust fund checks from Teddy's old man. I hear Brown does support health care for women trapped in a car in a lake after the drunk driver escapes and heads back to the party. That was something we all know Teddy did not support. I love that they brought Obama in to campaign for Coakley. The man is on such a losing streak, I hear they are remaking " Bronx Tale" & have offered Obama the part as "The Mush." I want to use in vitro fertilization/stem cell/test tube and whatever else science offers to have Scott Brown & Sarah Palin produce thousands of beautiful conservative children. My man Brian from Hoboken wants the following to play out: Iran takes American hostages. Iran refuses Obama's offer to reduce U.S. carbon emissions in exchange for the release of the hostages. Scott Brown runs for President against Obama, and wins in a Reagan-like romp. The hostages are then released at the moment Brown raises his right hand and is sworn into office. Fox could even do the split screen thing and show the simultaneous release and swear-in. Awesome.

Whose Your Daddy? John Edwards.

This lowlife finally admitted he fathered a kid out of wedlock at the same time he was trotting out the cancer-stricken wife during his presidential campaign and telling the world what a great husband/faher he is. The National Inquirer had this story for years, but the mainstream media admonished us that they won't pursue the story because it was Edwards' personal life. And then they went back to their main job: digging up dirt on the sex lives of Sarah Palin's underaged children. I love that Edwards had one of his lackey's claim that he was the father. And tried to get a doctor to fake the DNA report. Is it any surprise he was an ambulance chaser before he went into politics? Edwards is so slimy, he reminds me of a story about Roy Cohn. Cohn used to water ski in the Hudson River. Once, he asked someone to join him. The person replied, "How do you water ski in the Hudson, its so oily?" Cohn responded "How do you think it got that way?"

The Air Is Let Out Of Air America

The only regret I have is that before Air America declared bankruptcy, I should have engaged in a massive phony phone call campaign on their airwaves. It would have been real funny, and doubled the amount of listeners they had.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Stop This Man Before He Kills Again

The Mets GM Omar Minaya made a trade this week. He picked up Gary Mathews Jr. from the Angels. The Angels were so determined to get rid of Mathews, they sent the Mets $21 million to cover his salary over the next two years. Think about how desperate the Angels had to be to get rid of Matthews that they are paying him $21 million to not play for them.

Now who do you think has a better handle on Mathew's value, the Angels, or Minaya?

Buster Olney @ ESPN obtained an MLB scouting report on Mathews. Apparently, he is some triple threat. Check it out:

Matthews is a player to be avoided. Slow bat. Declining range. And above all else, a player who wants to be a regular and will be an unhappy distraction in your clubhouse when he's not in the lineup every day.
Remember Moneyball, the great book by Michael Lewis on Oakland A's GM Billy Beane's unorthodox methods on building a baseball team? Whenever Beane wanted to dump a worthless player, he always knew that if every other GM wanted no part of the washed up player, he could always trade the guy to the Mets, because Met GM Steve Phillips was always willing to overpay for worthless goods.

I'm sure Beane has replaced Phillips with Minaya on his speed dial. Even Lenny Dykstra has picked more winners over the last two years than Minaya.

When will the Wilpon's learn?

Saturday, January 23, 2010

We Are Chum In The Water

Will they ever learn? The Obama/Holder cabal has decided to release a Gitmo terrorist and are sending him back to his homeland-Algeria. See the money quote by Andy McCarthy:

The Justice Department has announced the release from Gitmo of a terrorist who conspired to bomb Los Angeles International Airport in the 2000 Millennium plot. Hassan Zumiri, who was part of an al-Qaeda affiliated terror cell in Montreal, has been repatriated to his native Algeria — a country so rife with terrorists that it was recently placed on the list of 14 countries whose travelers warrant enhanced screening at airports.

If Obama directed "Jaws" the movie would have had a whole different plot. The shark would not have been blown to bits by Roy Scheider. Instead, it would have humanly captured & gently placed in the Coney Island Aquarium. Soon after, Obama would have announced the following: (1) great white sharks are using the sharks kept at the Aquarium as a recruiting tool; (2) we have disgraced ourselves to the world by keeping sharks in captivity; (3) if we continue to keep the sharks in captivity, it means that the sharks have won. Asa result, Eric Holder would have released the shark back into the Atlantic waters off the Long Island shore. To show how great we are, the release would take place on the 4th of July weekend.

And we all know how that would turn out, right?

Friday, January 22, 2010

Trying To Be Helpful

This Sunday, there will be tons of people watching the AFC Championship game between the Jets & Colts. Some of the audience is going to be watching a football game for the first time. In an effort to make their viewing the game less confusing, I want to advise the first time viewer that when the announcers, Phil Simms & Jim Nance, refer to "the blimp", its not a reference to the overhead camera shots from the aircraft flying above the stadium, no, instead, they are actually referring to Jet Head Coach Rex Ryan when talk about "the blimp".

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Does Rush Need More Space On The Dial?

I just read that Air America has announced that it's filing a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy. That's the winding- down of the business type of Bankruptcy. Meaning its over, Johnny. I always thought that liberal ideas were bankrupt, but I never knew, you know, they were LITERALLY bankrupt.

Check out this explanation from Air America on why the business failed:

The very difficult economic environment has had a significant impact on Air America's business. This past year has seen a "perfect storm" in the media industry generally. National and local advertising revenues have fallen drastically, causing many media companies nationwide to fold or seek bankruptcy protection. From large to small, recent bankruptcies like Citadel Broadcasting and closures like that of the industry's long-time trade publication Radio and Records have signaled that these are very difficult and rapidly changing times.

I love it. These libs, they NEVER accept the blame/responsibility for anything-even their own business failures! Lets get this straight: according to Air America, they are filing for bankruptcy because there's a "perfect storm" of events killing the media industry? What a crock. They probably think that this so-called "perfect storm" was caused by global warming. But here is the real perfect storm that hit Air America: First they hired boring, condescending, self righteous, humorless, lecturing/hectoring hopelessly liberal radio hosts that NEVER connected with ANY audience. It was historically bad radio. Listening to Air America was more painful than being water boarded. In fact, if the CIA makes GITMO terrorists listen to Air America, I want the Justice Department to prosecute those unspeakably cruel CIA agents. Next, because it had no listeners, the only advertisers Air America could attract was for NAMBLA & some windmill manufacturer in Syracuse. I guess thinking that your advertising base would come from the "green jobs" industry that would come about with the Obamainist revolution wasn't the best business plan, right?

Bye bye Air America.

PS- I just yelled out my window and was able to communicate to more people than Air America reached all week.

Green With Envy

Baldman walked through Times Square just in time for the New York Jets rally. There were so many fat guys in green, it was like they combined the St. Patrick's Day Parade with the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.

The crowd at the Jet rally was huge. But then I went across the street from the rally and held up a sign saying "Giant Season Tickets For Sale" and the whole crowd ran to my side of the street. Even a fireman who called himself Ed.

As a Giant fan, I hold no animosity towards the Jets. I mean, as a tenant in Giants Stadium, they were perfect: they always paid their rent on time; never made too much noise; and always kept the place clean. Plus, this Jet moment ranks as one of the greatest in television history.

In all seriousness, who would not want to see the Jets win a Super Bowl? They are way overdue to win one. The last time they won a championship, the Jet wasn't even invented yet.


The blog Fucked In Park Slope (link below) was kind enough to post Baldman's Open Letter to those Obama voting; Earth Day celebrating; Roman Polanski supporting; West Indian nanny exploiting; Che Guevara shirt wearing; more -negligent- than- Eric Clapton's baby sitter; selfish to the core, Park Slope parents who insist on bringing their infants to local bars.

Check them out.

An Open Letter To *Some* Park Slope Parents

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Name That Team

It would be a dream come true for Baldman if he was able to come up with a new name for the Nets when they move to Brooklyn.

Here are a couple of shots from the top of the key:

Great Names That Can't Be Used

The Brooklyn Kings-as in Kings County. How sweet it is, but Sacramento has it already.

The Brooklyn Warriors- from the classic Brooklyn movie. But Golden State beat us to it.

Names That Should Be Considered

The Brooklyn Bridge- Brooklyn's most famous symbol; a gateway to the world. Plus, the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel has no chance.

The Brooklyn Streets- everybody from Brooklyn comes from the streets.

The Brooklyn Dreams- its been a dream for more than half a century to bring a sports team to Brooklyn.

The Brooklyn Express- as in an Express train. Who wants to take a local?

The Brooklyn Jammers- has a nice tie-in with basketball.

The Brooklyn Shipbuilders- to honor the 70,000 people who worked around the clock to build Navy warships during WWII.

The Brooklyn Militia- the first battle of the Revolutionary War took place on the soil where the Brooklyn basketball team will play. The heavily out manned Maryland Militia battled the British long enough to allow George Washington and his troops to retreat across the East River to Manhattan. A nice way to honor their sacrifice.

The Brooklyn Boardwalk- Coney Island, baby.

The Brooklyn Brigade- has a nice ring to it.

The Brooklyn Zoo- in honor of the late/GREAT Brooklyn native Old Dirty Bastard.

The Brooklyn Bulldogs- tough sounding without sounding crazy like the Pit bulls.

The Brooklyn Accent- fuhgetaboudit. It will never happen.

The Brooklyn Stoop- Baldman can dream, right?

Scott Brown Baby!

I always thought the greatest thing that ever happened in Massachusetts was Pedro Martinez flinging that old fu*k Don Zimmer to the ground. But since I am a man with an open mind, I have to put Scott Brown's victory last night into the top slot.

A Republican winning in Massachusetts? The last time that happened, John Adams was a person, not a beer. What's next: the ACLU naming Dick Cheney its "Man of the Year"?

Brown ran a masterful campaign. He told the people he was running to drive a stake through the heart of Obama's socialized Health Care Plan. And the people responded-in historical waves.

You have to put Brown's win in perspective: 80% of Massachusetts voters are registered Democrats. The other 20% are dead Democrats that are allowed to vote from the grave. Plus you add in the illegal aliens that were registered by ACORN. As Brian from Hoboken says, ACORN is so desperate, it has resorted to actually registering acorns.

So Brown beat back all of that.

The fact that this was Ted Kennedy's Senate seat makes Brown's victory even sweeter.

If Teddy was alive, he would be so distraught, he would drive his car into a lake.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Booze & Babies: An Open Letter To (Some) Park Slope Parents

The NYT in the article below takes on a local practice that the Stoop finds unconscionable: parents bringing their infants to bars in Park Slope.

Consider this an open letter to these parents:

Dear Selfish, Obama Voting, Change We Can Believe In, Negligent Parents:

I know it sucks that the West Indian nanny (who hates your guts) that you severely underpay to raise your kids has the audacity to ask for one day off a week. Life is hard in that way, I know.

But for those 24 hrs. when the nanny is not teaching your kid the Queen's English, you actually have to be the child's parent. And I know the Guide To Progressive Parenting says you should do things with your kid-but somehow (I hope) I don't think they mean you should take the little tyke to a local bar while you are getting your booze bag on.

How selfish can you be? Don't you know people go to bars to specifically not interact with your kid? Its a place where adults gather-why do you think you never see Michael Jackson, Roman Polanski or R. Kelly at a bar?

Since its a place that adults gather, you will find language, behavior and situations that are not child appropriate-even a child as bright as your kid, and I know your kid is really smart, cause that is all you ever talk about.

So its a pretty bad deal all around, it sucks for adults, and it sucks for your kid.

Take the little bastard to a movie or the park.

Your kid should be eating jello, not jello shots.

Something is really wrong when your designated driver was born in 2008.

You need to do some soul-searching if you are more concerned about free- range chicken than raising a de-ranged child.

Call me crazy, but I think when a two year old knows all the lyrics to The Doors "Road House Blues" it is more of a sign of sh*tty parenting than child intelligence.

Now, if you feel really strongly about permitting under-aged kids in bars, don't worry, time will fly by and before you know it, your little bundle of joy will soon be the teenager sneaking behind your back and drinking in the same bar where you currently give him a video game to keep him busy while you get your load on.

Or, if you are the real progressive type, your soon to be teenager won't have to sneak behind your back; I'm sure you will be sharing your pot with the future stoner.

But until that time, put down the blackberry, as well as the blackberry brandy, and take the kid out of the bar.

Oh, one last thing: If you change your kid's diaper on a table in a bar, you should be found guilty of a hate crime.


Complaint Box Baby Barflies

He Did Not Come Out To Play

San Diego Kicker Nate Kaeding (who shanked 3 field goals yesterday) & Luther from "The Warriors" & "48 Hrs".

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Questions You May Want To Ask.....

With so many charities out there asking for donations to be used for Haitian earthquake relief, its important to know the track record of these organizations, their experience in providing disaster relief, and what they have done with "cash from the past" as it pertains to charitable causes.

As far as disaster relief, a baseline question to ask an organization would be: "What history does it have in quickly converting cash into goods & services?" With the Haitian earthquake, every charity I have seen sells itself by stating the money is going to be used IMMEDIATELY to bring Haiti much needed medical/food supplies etc. But if an organization has no history of providing emergency services, do you really think they are equipped to provide immediate relief to a country that needs it as much as Haiti? Do you want that charity to learn by trial & error, literally on your dime? Or, is your cash better off going to charity organizations that have a history of providing emergency services all over the globe? Just some relevant questions worth asking.....

Another thing you should know is that charities that ask you to donate via a text message do not immediately receive the cash, they get it when you pay your phone bill. It could be 30 days before they even get the cash, and then begin the conversion to goods and services process. And then the delivery of goods. Just know that for some organizations immediate means more than a month from now, while for others, it means within days.....

Other relevant questions can be answered from using the Woodward/Bernstein method: follow the money.

How much of the money collected actually goes to those in need? How much goes for administrative costs? Are there any dubious accounting methods?

What a charity has done in the recent past is the best indicator on how it will use your cash when it comes to Haitian relief....

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Wake Up Everybody

As some of you may know, Teddy Pendergrass was the lead singer for Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes on such classics as "If You Don't Know Me By Now", "The Love I Lost" & "Wake Up Everybody".

When he left the group to go solo, seeing Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes without Pendergrass is like going to see the Cleveland Cavs after Lebron moves on to the Brooklyn Nets.

But people went to the concerts, and some had to be disappointed.

Big lesson: because a lot of the great old -time r & b groups have undergone lineup changes, you have to read the small print. You might think you are seeing Gladys Knight & The Pips, but the marquee may say "Gladys Knight & Her Pops". The Four Tops may show up with three guys. The Temptations have had more lineup changes than the 2009 Mets. The O'Jays could have a white guy sing the lead on "Backstabbers". And on & on.

Sometimes the real group you want to see is led by the former lead singer who doesn't have the legal right to use the old group name. Case in point, the great Russell Thompkins Jr. used to be the lead singer of the Stylistics. Legally, he can't use "The Stylistics" name, so he tours as "Russell Thompkins Jr. & the New Stylistics".

Know what you are getting.

Friday, January 15, 2010

His Songs Will Always Be Played On The Stoop

Imagine you are a famous singer, and you've sold millions of records. Imagine further that at age 31, you are in a car accident that leaves you paralyzed from the chest down. Would you have the courage to make your first public singing appearance since the accident in front of 90,000 fans @ JFK Stadium in Philly, plus a billion or so watching the famous Live Aid Concert on television?

The great Teddy Pendergrass, who passed away Wednesday, had that type of courage.

Watch the incredibly moving performance below.

Ashford & Simpson with Teddy Pendergrass Live Aid July 13th, 1985
© 2009 YouTube, LLC
901 Cherry Ave, San Bruno, CA 94066

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Heaven Has Its Sports Talk Host

A founding father of sports talk radio has passed on, as Art Rust Jr.-known to his loyal listeners as “Arthur George Rust Jr.”- died yesterday in Manhattan @ age 82.

If you listen to sports radio in New York and don’t know Art Rust, your radio should be taken away from you.

Art Rust was a pioneer. A radio original. From the late 1970’s through the early 80’s, his voice was the only one on the dial talking sports.

He wasn’t loud, or disrespectful or antagonistic. He wasn’t a know it all who belittled his callers. He was a gentleman of the airwaves. He treated his audience with dignity and respect. In that way, he was the anti-Francesa.

Baldman was a beneficiary of Art Rust’s kindness many times as a caller to his show. He never big-timed the teenage Baldman, never was dismissive or impatient. Many times a caller would be in mid- comment and Rust would apologize because they needed to break for a commercial, and Rust would ask the caller: “Could you please hold on and finish that thought after the commercial?” Does that ever happen today?

Like all of us, he liked some sports more than others. His twin passions: baseball & boxing. He adored Joe Louis. He was at his best when a big fight was approaching.

From my view on the Stoop, Art Rust Jr. was like an All Pro fullback; he created holes for the modern day sports talk show hosts to run through.

He was a prince of the airwaves, and he is gone @ age 82.

Learn More

For anyone wanting to learn more about Haiti, the Stoop highly recommends Edwidge Danticat's Brother, I'm Dying.

Danticat is a Haitian-American author who moved to Brooklyn from Port-au-Prince @ age 12.

On one level, its a story about a very common immigrant experience: parents coming to America to start a better life, and while they set up shop in America, their children are raised in the old country by close relatives. When the parents are settled, the kids make the move to America.

The sacrifices made, & the bonding of the extended family are all on display, described by the author in an understated manner. Its a very effective writing style.

At its heart, Brother, I'm Dying is the story of two brothers: Danticat's father & uncle.

When Danticat was four, her parents moved to America. For the next eight years, she was raised by her uncle. Her uncle was an amazing man. He built his own church in Haiti, and did so among the unspeakable violence perpetrated by gangs-putting his own life on the line countless times.

Don't want to give away too many plot lines, so just know that Brother I'm Dying is a fascinating glimpse into pre- earthquake Haiti: the unspeakable level of poverty & unrelenting violence stand side by side with the amazing courage & dedication to family & community that is a common trait of the Haitian people.

Brother, I'm Dying is a worthy read and available everywhere.

Too Much To Bear

Today, no health care analysis. Nothing on Eric Holder. Nothing on the terrorists. Nothing on sports, the Supreme Court, Brooklyn or Ted Kennedy.

Today, just prayers for the people of Haiti.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

New Jersey Goes To Pot

Legalize it - don't criticize it
Legalize it and i will advertise it -Peter Tosh

New Jersey just passed a medical marijuana law. The next agenda item for the NJ State Legislature is to impose a huge tax increase on all food classified by the Food & Drug Administration as "munchies."

The smoke that you typically see in Jersey when you look from Manhattan is taking on a whole new meaning.

The NJ Supreme Court has decided that the medical marijuana law is legal. They are calling it a "spliff decision."

The Apple & The Tree

I just read that Governor Paterson's son was arrested for possession of a stolen credit card. We all know that politicians LOVE spending other people's money; but who knew that their children had the same problem?

Gov. Paterson's son arrested with stolen credit card - The Hill's ...

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Complections & Inflections

Who knew that back in the day, Harry Reid was a writer for Saturday Night Live?

Check out the clip below:

© 2009 YouTube, LLC
901 Cherry Ave, San Bruno, CA 94066

The Chart Will Tell You

If you want an easy guide to help you determine whether a politician is forgiven or punished when he makes a offensive remark,this flow chart is an excellent guide on how it plays out again, again & again......

chart provided by The Right Coast

Monday, January 11, 2010

The Chilling Effect Of Collective Bargaining

At a time when libraries in NYC are closing down on certain days and lowering the number of open hours on other days, the NYT's has a story (link at the bottom) on a little known provision of union rules @ the NYC public libraries: if the temperature goes below 68 degrees in a library, the union workers get comp time or paid leave to be paid in the future. In Brooklyn, in some circumstances, library workers are even sent home-with pay of course.

Key quote:

Under a little-known contract provision titled “Extreme Temperature Procedures,” unionized workers at branches of the New York Public Library can accrue compensatory time when the temperature inside dips below 68 degrees for a couple of hours. Similar clauses exist for libraries across the city.

What a crock. Have you ever heard of such a thing in the real world? Of course not. But in the world of collective bargaining, this stuff happens all the time.

Who knew that when I cracked a window open in a library, it resulted in 10 library employees getting two additional weeks in paid vacation?

But truth be known, I don't blame the unions; I blame the city.

How can the Bloomberg Administration official in charge of negotiating with the library workers union not make it a priority to get rid of this insane contract provision? Did he even bother to read the contract?

Does anyone believe that the employees that work for Mayor Bloomberg's private business get to go home with pay when the office temperature dips below 68 degrees? Don't be silly.

Milton Friedman was right: when we spend other people's money, we are not nearly as careful as when we spend out own cash.

The Bloomberg official who allowed this to be in the contract is probably the same guy who clips coupons and spends hours in the supermarket to ensure that he gets the best deal.

Remember, this country was founded on a tax revolt.

But do you ever get the sense that anyone in government treats our tax dollars with the care it deserves?

In New York City, a Chilly Library Has Its Rewards

And I Thought He Was Aganist Alan Keyes For Political Reasons

Ryan Frazier is running for Congress in Colorado. Here is his take on Harry Reid's comments about Barack Obama:

"When someone like Reid can insinuate that one group of Americans has a substandard dialect in comparison to the rest of the country, that’s alarming and, frankly, disturbing. This isn’t a Republican or Democrat issue, it’s an American issue, and much broader than being about President Obama. When I first heard the statements, I wondered: What exactly is a ‘Negro’ dialect? Anyone looking at this ought to ask that question. Obviously I’m black, but I’m still not sure what Reid’s talking about. And if the Democratic party is okay with this type of statement from their leadership, well, that speaks volumes.”

We Have To Be Like Iverson In The War On Terror

There is a story that Bill Simmons tells about Allen Iverson in his excellent new book, The Book of Basketball that Obama needs to incorporate in our war against Islamic psychos.

Here is Simmons:

I remember attending a Boston-Philly game when Iverson was whistled for a technical, yelped in disbelief, then followed the referee toward the scorer's table before finally yelling "Fuck You!" at the top of his lungs. The official turned around and pulled his whistle toward his mouth for a second technical. They were maybe 25 feet away from me, so I could see everything up close. And I swear on my daughter's life, the following moment happened: As the ref started blowing the whistle, Iverson's eyes widened and he moved angrily toward him, almost like someone getting written up for a parking ticket who decides it would be easier just to punch out the meter maid. For a split second, there was real violence in the air. The rattled official lowered his whistle and never called the second technical. By sheer force of personality, Iverson kept himself in the game.

Look I'm not condoning what happened. It was a frightening moment. I specifically remembering thinking, "I am frightened." But I have not seen a basketball player bully a referee like that before or since, it was like playing an intramural hoops game against the football team and watching the biggest offensive lineman intimidate a 130-pound freshman ref.

We have to be Iverson-like in the war on terror. Like the referee afraid to call the 2nd technical foul on Iverson, we have to make the terrorists afraid to get on that plane or do anything else that would bring us harm. We have to make them think twice about the ramifications of their actions.

Now some my say how do you intimidate someone willing to kill themselves as long as it brings us harm? But every man is afraid of something. Every man. Whether it is his family being harmed/killed, his city being flattened or something else, we have to get to the point where they are the ref about to blow the whistle, but then they realize what would happen if they did blow the whistle, and that realization and fear of what would happen if they went through with it makes them put that whistle down.

America needs to project an Allen Iverson image to the world.

Let's do it.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Bill Clinton: First Black President?

From Game Change, a new book on the 2008 Presidential campaign, on why Ted Kennedy was offended about the conversation he had with Bill Clinton about Presidential Candidate Barack Obama : (Page 218):

"Recounting the conversation later to a friend, Teddy fumed that Clinton had said, A few years ago this guy would have been getting us coffee."

Is it really any surprise that Clinton said that? What do you expect from the man who as governor of Arkansas signed a law that made Robert E. Lee Day a state holiday?

Friday, January 8, 2010

Ike Started It

Now that the college football season is over, the Stoop wants to tackle the Mike Leach/ Adam James story before it gets cold.

Up until December 29, 2009, Leach was the head football coach @ Texas Tech. James was a wide receiver on the team. Leach was fired after James' father, ESPN football announcer and ex college/NFL star Craig James, complained to Tech officials that after his son suffered a mild concussion, Leach banished him to an electrical closet while the rest of the team practiced. Texas Tech fired Leach one day before he was to receive an $800,000 bonus.

I saw this so- called electrical closet. It is BIGGER than the average NYC apartment. You can fit a couple of cars in there, and there was an ice machine and football dummies-and by that I don't mean Dallas Cowboy fans.

So what is really happening here?

The other day I looked up Adam James' statistics. He had 17 catches for the whole season. 17 catches in an offense that throws the ball like crazy.

I think that is what's driving the bus here. Craig James is acting like a stage Mom here. He reportedly complained often to the coaching staff on how Adam was being used in the offense.

If Leach ordered Adam James into a so-called electrical closet before every game and James had 80 catches, do you really think any complaint would have been made?

Leach's firing is just the latest symptom of a large disease that ails America.

And what is that ailment? Its the pussification of America. Everybody has a grievance. Everybody wants to tell you how much their feelings are hurt. This whole country if filled with people who see themselves as perpetual victims.

And now that disease has caught on in football, and its almost too much to bear.

You see, football is one of the last bastions of bravery in America. You have to be tough to play football. Physically tough. Mentally tough. In ain't for the faint-hearted.

But the Leach firing is a huge cannon ball shot by the grievance police into the belly of traditional American football.

Leach didn't even put his hands on James! And he got canned. Because of the brutal nature of football, a coach often uses unique/innovative methods to motivate men in order to properly prepare them for what happens on a football field.

But with the pussification of America, pretty soon most football teams are going to be coached by the Dr. Phil's of the world.

Its already happening. When Craig James played for SMU more than 25 years ago, if a player missed a blocking assignment, he might have received a cattle prod to his privates. And now he complains cause his kid was sent to a room by himself. Wow.

Again, it's happening throughout society. Back in the day, Baldman was taught by nuns who had perfected the Deacon Jones head slap. Trust me, it was a good motivating tool. Nowadays, the only thing you can hit a kid with is praise.

I blame General Eisenhower for unintentionally starting the pussification movement in America. When he made Patton apologize for slapping a cowardly soldier, (see the video link below) it was the "Patient Zero" moment that began infecting America with this awful malady.

From Patton to Leach- Baldman sees a straight line.

It Will Be Different

Question for Jet fans: what's it going to be like playing a team that is actually trying to win the game? Lately, the teams you have played have taken more dives than Michael Phelps.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

No Need 2 Go

Question: Why were there no Jet fans at Times Square on New Year's Eve?

Answer: Jet fans see the ball drop every time it's thrown to Braylon Edwards.

Know What's Going On

This week's New Yorker has a glowing profile of the newest Supreme Court Justice, the self-proclaimed wise one, Sonia Sotomayor.

Check out the following exchange, which took place when the President met with the Congressional Hispanic Caucus:

(Nydia) Velázquez gripped Obama by both hands. “Mr. President, you have an opportunity, here in your hands, to shape the United States Supreme Court for years to come.”
Obama whispered into Velázquez’s ear and smiled. “I know—there’s a Puerto Rican woman.”

I love it. The President couldn't even recall her name, but he sure committed her ethnicity to memory.

When liberals tell you how important someone's nomination is because of their ethnicity, here is exactly what's going on:

They want to frame the issue in the following way: If you oppose the nomination, you are racist/prejudiced against that particular ethnic/racial group.

And they use that strategy because it works. It works in the same way that old question When did you stop beating your wife works.

Just know what's going on. And know they are full of sh*t.

Why does Baldman say that?

Just look what happened when Baby Bush nominated Miguel Estrada to the DC Court of Appeals.

The same people who lectured us on how important Sotomayor's nomination was led the charge to kill Estrada's nomination.

And the methods they used to kill Estrada's nomination were historic; the libs filibustered it in the Senate. Never before had the filibuster been used to kill an Appellate Court nominee. But it was used against Estrada. And as a result, the man did not even get a chance to have the full Senate-a majority of which supported his nomination- vote on his nomination.

Big lessons we have learned on the Stoop: (1) ideology always trumps ethnicity; and (2) when we are lectured/pressured on how important a nomination is because of the nominee's ethnic/racial background, always remember what these same people did to Miguel Estrada.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

All Bark, & No Bite

Here's the Prez, talking about the Christmas Day attempt to blow up the flight to Detroit:

I will accept that intelligence by its nature is imperfect, but it is increasingly clear that intelligence was not fully analyzed or fully leveraged,” Mr. Obama said. “That’s not acceptable, and I will not tolerate it.”

Typical Obama, where the words never meet the deeds. He's not going to tolerate it? Every person he appointed to Homeland Security failed here. Every one. And not one of them has been fired or demoted. So how exactly is Obama not tolerating their failure?

The father of the terrorist read the signals correctly and told Obama's people that his son would bring harm to the U.S. And those people did nothing with that info. And those people have suffered no consequences for their monumental failure.

But its good to know that it won't be tolerated.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The Terminator

Check this out. It's Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg in the NYT Magazine from last summer. She comments on a Supreme Court case which upheld a law (the Hyde Amendment) which prohibited Medicaid funds from being used to pay for abortions. Basically, the case stands for the proposition that a woman may have a constitutional right to have an abortion, but that right does not extend to the government paying for it.

JUSTICE GINSBURG: Yes, the ruling about that surprised me. [Harris v. McRae — in 1980 the court upheld the Hyde Amendment, which forbids the use of Medicaid for abortions.] Frankly I had thought that at the time Roe was decided, there was concern about population growth and particularly growth in populations that we don’t want to have too many of.

Populations we don't want too many of? Concerns about population growth? Who is she looking to get rid of? It seems that Baby Ruth missed her first calling-as an exterminator.

Abortion has always been framed as an individual right, but Ruthie seems to think it is a collective right (notice the use of the term "we").

Ruthie let her guard down when she told the NYT Magazine her true thoughts on abortion.

And when you realize that those comments are coming from one of the most powerful person's in our government, and that person can hold power for life, it makes those comments very scary.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Hit The Bricks, Pal

The Giants today fired defensive coordinator Bill Sheridan. As far as I'm concerned, the Giant owners should have pulled a Mike Leach and thrown Sheridan and the whole Giant defense into an electrical closet.

Truth be known, I was down on Sheridan early in the season when he would wear a white NY Giant sweat suit on the sidelines. It looked like he raided the closet of Evil Knievel or Al Davis.

Make no mistake about it: the 2009 Giant defense was the worst Giant defense of Baldman's lifetime.

Hiring Sheridan to coach defense is like McGraw-Hill giving Tiger Woods a million dollar advance to write " The Joys of Monogamy".

Sheridan is so bad at defense, it wouldn't surprise me if he was the runner-up to Janet Napolitano to Head Homeland Security.

The man makes Ray Handley look like Vince Lombardi.

If Isiah Thomas was reincarnated as a football coach, he would come back as Bill Sheridan.

When you ask Sheridan about tackle, he thinks you are referring to fishing equipment.

The man's defensive game plans consisted of: (1) not rushing the passer; (2) not covering any receivers; and (3) acting as if offensive players carrying a football were lepers that needed to be avoided at all costs.

NBA teams give up less points than Sheridan's defense.

If Sheridan was ever arrested, he would undoubtedly be found guilty.


He would have no defense.

Good riddance.

Misplaced Priorities

The two stories below scream out how local governments can get their priorities ass-backwards.

The first story is on New York City's decision to close 14 library branches in Queens. It's a bad move. Bloomberg has enough loose change in the couch cushions in Gracie Mansion to fund these libraries. I wish Bloomberg would apply the same dedication to libraries that he does to banning smoking in public places or the use of trans fats. If I was granted five minutes of Mayor Bloomberg's time, I would urge him to spend his post-mayor life emulating Andrew Carnegie. When he was a young kid, Carnegie was a poor Scottish immigrant who tried to gain entry to a private Pittsburgh library. Pittsburgh had no public libraries at that time. Carnegie was denied use of the library because of how he was dressed. And he never forgot the sting of that moment. When he made his billions, he wanted to do his part to ensure that poor people who wanted to read books in libraries were never turned away like he was. So he funded/started OVER 3,000 PUBLIC LIBRARIES IN THE U.S. Mayor Bloomberg, you have a good role model in Andrew Carnegie.

The second story is the one that has me scratching my head on the Stoop. NYC has spent taxpayer dollars on printing a booklet that teaches heroin users how to properly shoot dope.

What's next, a guidebook on how to successfully rob a bank?

Let me get this straight: we close down libraries, places where people can read & educate themselves, but we print pamphlets, which people can also read, on the proper way to inject heroin? WTF?

Something you should know about Baldman: While he is a foot soldier in the Goldwater/Reagan/Buchanan/Scalia/Thomas pitchfork brigade, he is also very liberal when it comes to government funding of public libraries. Other than the use of tax dollars to build bombs to kill those who want to kill us, the public funding of libraries is Baldman's favorite use of the taxpayers cash.

As the noted philosopher Roddy Piper used to say: "Just when they think they have the answers, I change the questions."

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Obama Says Yes To Profiling

From The NYT tonight:

U.S. Intensifies Screening for Travelers From 14 Nations Citizens of 14 nations including Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, and Nigeria who are flying to the United States will be subjected indefinitely to the intense screening at airports worldwide that was imposed in the aftermath of the Christmas Day bombing plot, Obama administration officials announced Sunday.

Obama must have read the copy of "National Security For Dummies" that I sent him for Christmas. Or perhaps he got hit in the head with a surfboard in Hawaii, and when the cobwebs cleared, he found his inner Dick Cheney. Whatever the reason, I applaud the move. But as my liberal friends always say when the feds increase spending on social programs by the billions: THIS IS ONLY A GOOD FIRST STEP. WE HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO DO IN THIS AREA.

For example, doesn't common sense dictate that if we are subjecting citizens of these 14 Nations to higher scrutiny when they fly to the United States, why doesn't this policy apply when they are flying within United States?

Give me some more change I can believe in.


Saturday, January 2, 2010

Quick Jabs

I just read where Elton John says that he has been helping rapper Eminem overcome his battle with drug addiction. Not for nothing, isn't this revelation bad for Eminem's street credibility? It would be like 50 Cent overcoming anger management issues with the help of James Taylor. What happened to keeping it real?

Next topic: Did you see the story on how Gilbert Arenas & his teammate pulled guns out on each other? Its the first time Arenas has ever been known to pass up a shot. Arenas has always been known to be a gunner, but who knew he was really a gunner? But then again, the guy gets paid millions to be a shooting guard, so maybe this is not such a surprise.

Carlos Is Teaching You The Mambo?

To me, the greatest local New Year's tradition is the Honeymooners marathon they show all day on television every January 1st. I still laugh like I'm seeing each episode for the first time, and in my view from here on the Stoop, the show has never been topped.

Two quick observations from watching yesterday:

1) Norton's apartment. It's so god-damned modern when compared to Ralph's. It has state of the art appliances & furniture, cool wallpaper, & that unbelievable record player where you can make your own record like Ralph did when he apologized to Alice for yelling at her mother. All of this on a sewer worker's salary? Norton must have been taking bribes. If Norton's apartment was around today, it would be featured on MTV cribs.

2) If the Honeymooners were a new show with its premiere episodes shown in 2010, it never would have made it. It would be the focus of protests, and its advertisers would have been pressured to drop the show. Why? Well of course the show is smut-free, and they never even show you the Kramden's bedroom. But Ralph's threatening to send Alice to the moon every episode would have made liberal women's groups like NOW froth at the mouth. And Gleason did not have the proper liberal credentials to survive it. So while Charlie Sheen in real life can threaten women, and Chuck Schumer can go around calling women bitches, they are shielded by having the proper liberal views. But Gleason, they would have went after hard. Real hard. And somehow, I think he would have rather shut down the show than submit to demands for diversity training.