Monday, January 25, 2010

Week In Review

What a great goddamn week we just had! Let's have a little recap:

Scott Brown

He went behind enemy lines and drove a stake through the heart of Obama's dreadful health care plan. And did it in the most liberal state in the nation. And took Teddy's seat. I hope they give him Teddy's old Senate desk, its probably filled with empty vodka bottles & trust fund checks from Teddy's old man. I hear Brown does support health care for women trapped in a car in a lake after the drunk driver escapes and heads back to the party. That was something we all know Teddy did not support. I love that they brought Obama in to campaign for Coakley. The man is on such a losing streak, I hear they are remaking " Bronx Tale" & have offered Obama the part as "The Mush." I want to use in vitro fertilization/stem cell/test tube and whatever else science offers to have Scott Brown & Sarah Palin produce thousands of beautiful conservative children. My man Brian from Hoboken wants the following to play out: Iran takes American hostages. Iran refuses Obama's offer to reduce U.S. carbon emissions in exchange for the release of the hostages. Scott Brown runs for President against Obama, and wins in a Reagan-like romp. The hostages are then released at the moment Brown raises his right hand and is sworn into office. Fox could even do the split screen thing and show the simultaneous release and swear-in. Awesome.

Whose Your Daddy? John Edwards.

This lowlife finally admitted he fathered a kid out of wedlock at the same time he was trotting out the cancer-stricken wife during his presidential campaign and telling the world what a great husband/faher he is. The National Inquirer had this story for years, but the mainstream media admonished us that they won't pursue the story because it was Edwards' personal life. And then they went back to their main job: digging up dirt on the sex lives of Sarah Palin's underaged children. I love that Edwards had one of his lackey's claim that he was the father. And tried to get a doctor to fake the DNA report. Is it any surprise he was an ambulance chaser before he went into politics? Edwards is so slimy, he reminds me of a story about Roy Cohn. Cohn used to water ski in the Hudson River. Once, he asked someone to join him. The person replied, "How do you water ski in the Hudson, its so oily?" Cohn responded "How do you think it got that way?"

The Air Is Let Out Of Air America

The only regret I have is that before Air America declared bankruptcy, I should have engaged in a massive phony phone call campaign on their airwaves. It would have been real funny, and doubled the amount of listeners they had.

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