Its Crazy

When I first read that a big fat whale drowned a woman, I thought they were referring to what Ted Kennedy did to Mary Jo. But like everyone else, I was shocked to learn that this was a whale at Sea World- and that this was the third time that this whale has killed a human. How did he get off for the first two murders? PETA must have their own Johnnie Cochran that they trotted out to defend this serial killer. How crazy is it that this whale is back to work, and he has shown no signs of remorse? Big lesson: as long as you are in show business, whether you are Roman Polanski or a whale at Sea World, the normal rules of society do not apply. You can get away with a lot of sh*t that the rest of us can't.

You know how we have Megan's law, which requires convicted sex offenders to register in their communities once they get out of prison? Baldman is calling for a Megan's law for zoos & aquariums. Here is how it would work: all previous crimes committed by animals would be posted next to the cage or tank they are in. If I am feeding a monkey some peanuts, and that monkey ripped some lady's face off in 1993, I have a right to know about it.

As for this whale, I would take him away from Sea World and place him in a confined area in the waters off of Guantanamo Bay. Then I would announce a new mandatory recreation program for the prisoners at GITMO: swimming with the whale.

If they survive that, they get waterboarded.