The O-LYMPICS

You see the President is going to Copenhagen to try to persuade the Olympic Committee to have the 2016 Summer Olympics in Chicago?

If it happens here's a sneak preview of the what you will see in the Obama-led Chicago Olympics:

1) All Gold Medal Winners will be asked to give a piece of the medal to the other competitors who did not win. Its all about sharing the wealth. Isn't that in keeping with the Olympic spirit?

2) Best speaker with a teleprompter and windmill building will be added as Olympic events.

3) ACORN workers will tabulate the judges scores in all Olympic boxing matches

4) The Iranian team will be warned not to bring weapons into the Olympic Village. They will be caught with weapons, but be allowed to keep them anyway.

5) Throwing shoes at former President Bush will also be added as an event. A competitor from a Middle Eastern country will win this event.

6) For old time's sake, Bill Ayers will throw out the first bomb. For the hell of it, his old posse, The Weather Underground will be allowed to enter a team.

7) Cutting and running will be added as an event.

8) If any athletes get injured, the U.S. government will decide on the appropriate medical treatment.

9) The amount of compensation gold medal winners can receive from commercial endorsements will be limited by the U.S. government.

10) President Obama will receive an honorary gold medal for gymnastics. Anyone who tries to sell the idea that you can provide health car insurance for those that don't have it, provide better coverage for those already covered, while not spending one dime has undergone more contortions than Nadia Comanche.

11) CIA agents being held at Guantanamo Bay for torturing Khalid Sheik Muhammad will be denied television privileges and won't see any of the Olympics.

12) Terrorists released from Guantanamo Bay will be in Afghanistan training on monkey bars and will be eligible for the 2020 Olympics.

13 The Olympic Torch Will Be lit by the Reverend Wright.