Saturday, September 19, 2009

Mariano's In Post Season Form

(Did you see my man Ichiro had a two out, game winning, walk off two-run homer off of Mariano last night? Awesome. If history is our guide, there should be more blowups to come. Below is something I wrote when Mariano blew a save against the Red Sox this year. It applies ever time Mariano blows a save, and I can't wait to re post during the playoffs.)

Mariano The Pyromaniac

You blew it, all right?You had the guy four fu*kin' days.Four days!You could've walked him backwardsand not blown it, but you blew it.
Eddie Mascone explaining to Jack Walsh why he put Marvin on the "Duke" case- "Midnight Run"

Ah, the sure things in life: death, taxes,and Mariano blowing a big game.

It happened again last night,as Mariano gave up a game- tying two out homer to Jason Bay.

As crucial a blowup as this one was, it does not make it to the tops of Mariano fu*k-ups. I mean, nothing could compare to blowing the 7th game of the World Series, like Mariano did against the D-Backs, right? Or how about blowing a chance to sweep the Red Sox in game 4 in 2004? And we all know what happened in that Series after Mariano blew game 4, correct?

No this blow up while more important than giving up a game winning homer to Marcus Scutoro like Mariano did last year, was not as big a f-up as giving up a walk off homer to Bill Mueller and blowing a 9-4 lead- which Mariano did in the A-Rod- Varitek (Manzi) brawl game.

But Yankee fans, dumb by breed,will never blame Mariano for anything. For every colossal blowup, they point to the 2,000 saves he has against the Kansas City Royals.

Yankee fans see Mariano, Jeter the Tax Cheater and Bernie as infallible popes. They could do no wrong.

If kiddie porn came flying out of Mariano's pockets in mid windup, Yankee fans would dismiss it by saying that Mariano mistakenly was wearing Mike Stanton's pants.

Of course,Yankee fans will dismiss this as the misguided ravings of a Mets fan.

But I ain't the only one. I have surprising company.

You remember St. Joseph of Torre? Torre and Tom Verducci have a best seller out now.

Let me save you time & cash. Go to Barnes & Noble. Put St.Joseph's book in your hands and turn to page 312. You will find this nugget:

"As great as he is, and it's amazing what he does, if you start the evaluation again since I've been here, he has accomplished nothing in comparison to what he accomplished the four years before. He blew the World Series in '01. He lost the Boston series. He didn't lose it himself, but we had a chance to win in the ninth and sweep them and he doesn't do it there. . . . That's what I remember about the '04 series."- Mike Mussina

Mussina is right.

Yankee fans, Mariano has blown up more things than Bin Laden. He is less trustworthy than Eric Clapton's baby sitter. When those west coast fires break out, the first thing investigators ask is "is Mariano in town?" Christ, he broke into the majors with Luis Tiant. The more you rely on this old bat, the more chances you give me to write fun stuff like this.


Anonymous said...

new mlb commercial: watching mariano blow saves in the post season-PRICELESS.... throw him in the freezer with ted williams!

Anonymous said...

Wow, you really do know everything about nothing when it comes to baseball huh?!?! ...hmmm did I just limit that to baseball?

Alex Baldman said...

All I did was quote from St. Joseph of Torre's best seller. And St. Joe decided to include a quote from Mike Mussina regarding Mariano's REPEATED post season failures.

Their words, not mine.

Just want to make that clear, in case the person who read it to you did not.