Friday, September 4, 2009

Sarah Would Have Done It

(Written during the 2008 Presidential Campaign when Obama picked Biden as his running mate.)

Obama just picked Joe Biden to be his running mate. I love it. This is a guy who is known for two things: (1) having to withdraw from the 1988 Presidential Campaign because he plagiarized a speech from a British politician; and (2) for having a hair weave, or hair plugs. Lets just call it "fake hair".

Forget about a black president, is America ready for a Hair Club For Men President? In his speeches (the ones he doesn't plagiarize) is Biden going to proclaim "I'm not only the Hair Club For Men President, I'm running for Vice President!" Does the Constitution allow for one person to be Hair Club for Men President while being Vice President? Is it true that William Shatner declined Obama's offer to be his running mate? That Obama expects Biden to "weave" his way across America into the campaign? That when Obama asked Biden if there are any skeletons in his closet, Biden replied "Nothing we can't sweep under the rug."

Here is a guaranteed way for McCain to win:

There is only one Vice Presidential Debate. (There are 3 presidential debates, and each one is going to be must see TV. Ali-Frazier, with McCain as Frazier, of course. The last Presidential Debate will be at Hofstra University, so if anybody has any local pull and wants to attend, they should do so.)

Anyway, the way McCain can guarantee victory is by instructing his Vice Presidential Nominee to do the following:

During the Vice Presidential debate, when Biden is babbling about " Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself" or "Ask Not What Your Country Can Do..... McCain's Vice Presidential Nominee should calmly walk over to the other podium AND RIP THAT FU*KIN RAT RIGHT OFF OF BIDEN'S HEAD. Expose his bald ass to the American people.

Victory would be assured.

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