It Ain't Me Babe

(Written right after the 2008 election, when Obama fever was at its highest.)

Sometimes I don't speak too bright
but yet I know what I'm talking about
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?- War

We don't know where we're going
,But the season's right for knowing,
I want you to join together with the band-The Who

Ever since the election, I see it everywhere. People can't wait to tell you how liberal they are. Its on the train. It's in conversations, on the Internet, on peoples clothing, and on their desks.

Let me be blunt: I cannot worship from that same altar.

I figure now would be as good a time as any to articulate the reasons why I am not a liberal.

Here goes:

1) A liberal thinks that a 12 year old girl should be able to get an abortion without her parent's consent. The same girl would need parental notification to go on a class trip to the Bronx Zoo but would not need parental notification to obtain an abortion? This is insane to me.

2) Liberals believe the death penalty is unconstitutional. I believe the death penalty is constitutional because the 5th amendment expressly says so. (Try looking it up, it is there.)

3) Liberal lawyers will file motion after motion in a death penalty case to stall executions for as many as 20 years. When they run out of motions to file they use their last bullet: they tell a court that to have a person sitting on death row for 20 years is cruel and unusual punishment and therefore it violates the 8th amendment. Therefore, he should not be executed. Excuse me, the reason why the guy is sitting on death row for so long is because liberals tied up the Courts for years with frivolous motions. Now, because the Courts took the time to consider these motions that a liberal ACLU lawyer brought, the convict should be released from death row? The logic escapes me.

4) Liberals believe it is a perfectly legitimate for colleges to deny military recruiters access to college campuses. I would be ashamed to be a member of such a group that endorsed this despicable behavior.

5) Liberals believe the 2nd Amendment guarantees Americans the right to bare arms. I believe it guarantees the right to bear arms.

6) Liberals believe in racial preferences. When the University of Michigan gave every minority applicant 20 points just for being black and every other applicant 4 points for getting a perfect SAT score, every liberal group in the nation signed on and said that it was a perfectly legitimate system. I say that system discriminates on the basis of race and is racial engineering. I could never belong to a group that justified the University of Michigan's (and countless other colleges) discriminatory practices. Here is an example of a just affirmative action policy: for every kid that comes from a single parent home, the results are devastating. You can as a college recognize that fact by giving extra points to those children when they apply. You can also give the extra points to poor kids, say, if the parent(s) make below 50k, the kid gets extra points. But you do it for all kids that are poor and come from a single parent household.

7) Liberals want to take the affirmative action laws and apply them to criminal law. What you get is hate crime legislation which attempts to criminalize thought. For centuries, our criminal law was built on the following: (1) what was the person's intent; and (2) was the action voluntary. With hate crimes, we now have to ascertain the person's thoughts. Under hate crime legislation, an equal opportunity rapist who rapes 3 women in Prospect Park regardless of color is treated less severely than a rapist who who rapes one woman of a particular racial/ethnic group and says he wanted to pick a member of that group as his victim. I say treat the crimes and the criminal equally. You don't get rewarded for being an equal opportunity criminal.

8) Speaking of liberals and crime, you usually only hear liberals voice their concern about crime only in the following two situations: (1) when the accused is a police officer; and (2) when the victim is a minority and the accused is white. Every day, thousands of black on black and black on white and white on white crime goes on. Not a peep from liberals. I could not be a member of a group that only voices my concern about crime in such selective situations.

9) Speaking of crime, liberals always want special rules when the accused is a police officer, they want a special prosecutor, and if the police officer is found innocent, they want to try him again in federal court. I'm sorry, you don't get to pick and choose prosecutors, you get the one that the people elected. Further, and I don't care for how the courts have interpreted this so far, when you try a man twice for a crime that involves the same elements, it violates the double jeopardy clause of the constitution. Thus I believe that Lemrick Nelson should never have been tried by the feds and the cops in the Sean Bell matter should not be indicted in Federal Court. I could never be part of a group that forum shops for prosecutors and courts after a man has been acquitted.

10) Liberals wear political slogans attached to their clothes or as their clothes. Enough with the Che Guevara tee-shirts. Enough with the Obama buttons and shirts. Reagan won 49 states, and I never saw anybody walk around with a Reagan shirt. I never could figure out why liberals use their bodies as advertising space for political purposes. Weird s**t. Get over yourselves.

11) Liberals see people as members of groups; I see people as individuals. For example a liberal politician will go through his laundry list and say "this is what I offer unions" "this is what I will do for blacks" "this is what I will do for young people". A Bill Buckley or Ron Reagan will offer ideas like "I will cut taxes" "I will roll back Soviet expansion" or in Bill Buckley's case "I advocate the legalization of drugs." These ideas are for all individuals to accept or reject, they are not tailored to individual groups like labor unions or soccer moms.

12) Liberals feel that we must publish as soon as possible all photos of Abu Garhib, and all other pics that depict American soldiers in a bad light. Yet, liberals do not want Americans to be shown video of planes crashing into the Towers, or maniacal Muslims beheading Americans. I feel just the opposite: I would not show photos of American soldiers that could be distorted by our enemy, and I would show 9-11 footage every day. I'm funny in that way.

13) Liberals believe in a "living constitution". That means that the words in the constitution have no set meaning; the definition can change without changing the actual words. I believe in just the opposite: the words in the constitution are defined by what they meant when the American people ratified it at that time. I am an Originalist. Let's see how it could play out: The 13th amendment was ratified in 1868. The words and definitions of the 13th amendment as understood at the time of ratification clearly makes slavery unconstitutional. Accordingly, an Originalist would view slavery as unconstitutional based on the meaning of the 13th amendment. However, a "living constitutional" view could conceivably say "who cares what they said in 1868, nowadays, slavery is perfectly permissible." You see, with a living Constitution there is no fixed meaning, there are no standards, and all of our constitutional freedoms are always at peril. I could never sign on for that.

14) Liberals think that the war on terror should be primarily handled by our criminal justice system. They want subpoenas, depositions and discovery motions. I want bombs, bullets and drones.

15) Liberals will tell you that the burning of the American flag is free speech but the burning of a cross is a crime. I believe they are both crimes. It's burning, not speaking.

16) Liberals do not want our federal immigration laws to be enforced. I believe that illegal immigration lowers wages of Americans, puts an undue financial strain on our social services systems, takes undue advantage of illegal aliens and is a national security threat.

16) Liberals want to pass the "Fairness Doctrine" which would target and eliminate conservative speech on talk radio. I feel this is a Stalinist tactic, and liberals who support it are enemies of the first amendment.

17) Liberals want Michael Vick to serve a long jail sentence, I believe the man has paid his penalty.

18) Liberals were more outraged by Mark Furhman's use of racial epithets than OJ Simpson's slashing off of the heads of two innocent people. I saw it the other way.

19) Liberals want to give illegal aliens state-issued driving licenses. I don't.

20) Liberals want to close down our Prison Camp at Guantanamo Bay. I would expand it.

21) Liberals want to keep poor children in public schools that have failed generations of Americans. I would give those children a chance to go to private, parochial or charter schools. I never understood why at 18, you can get government grants, aid, loans etc. to use for any school that will accept you, but you can't have those options and 12 or 15 (with the parents making the choice). Its immoral to tell a mother that she has to send her third son to Thomas Jefferson High School when the first two did not graduate from there. Liberals are a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Teacher's Union. As long as that is the case, we will never get education reform in this country.

22) Liberals think that NAMBLA has a constitutional right to exist, while the Boy Scouts must amend their rules to include homosexuals. I believe the full force of local and federal civil laws should be used against NAMBLA, and the Boy Scouts, like any other non-criminal private entity, have the right to include and/or exclude whomever they wish.

23) When building a statue, liberals, in the name of "fictional diversity" wanted to change the race of those first responders who raised the flag after 9-11. I say the statue should depict the actual men who raised the flag.

24) "Illegal" Elian Gonzalez is the only illegal alien that Liberals wanted to remove from this country. And they did it by force. I thought we should have given the kid asylum.

25) Liberals liked 42 Street better when in has filled with drug dealers, prostitutes and porn shops. I think it is better now.

26) Not one liberal group stepped forward to help when those Duke lacrosse players were being railroaded by a runaway prosecutor and a lying whore. In fact, many liberal groups, including the NAACP and the teachers on campus openly declared these kids guilty. I could never be part of a group that takes part in such a miscarriage of justice.

27) Liberals think Ronald Reagan was a dumb man. I question the intellect of all those who feel that way.

28) Liberals will never tell you that a problem is solved. They will always say "Yes, we have made progress, but we have so much further to go." They won't even tell you what the solution will be, just that... "we have so much more to go".

29) Liberals believe that the use of tax dollars to subsidize "art" that denigrates Catholic symbols like the Virgin Mary smeared in s**t or the crucifix in a jar of piss is valid. I think it is a travesty.

30) Liberals believe that equality means equal results. I believe that equality means equal access to opportunity. What you do with that opportunity is up to you.