Tuesday, August 25, 2009

My Failure To Pass Math

Quick Stoop Story:

I was the world's worst math student. There were more F's on my transcript than in an Andrew Dice Clay monologue. In high school, my first three years, I went to summer school for math. My senior year, I got a 70 in math. The lowest passing grade was ....70. It was if they were saying, "We know you can't count to 70, but here is your diploma." (I will not reveal the high school, other than to say the greatest Supreme Court Justice of them all is also an alumni, but somehow, I think he did better than me at math.)

In college, I was a political science major, and only had to take one math class. I waited to my last semester to take "Math Appreciation" and made sure a good friend took it with me to give me , you know, advice.

The first day of class and we find out that the teacher is an adjunct from Eastern Europe. He begins to take attendance. He is painfully shy and mispronounces a lot of names because English is not his first language.

Because he was so bad in pronouncing names, the next class, he decides to distribute an attendance sheet for the students to pass around during class and sign.

After a week or so, it was apparent that the teacher was not looking at the attendance sheet.

So some students took liberties and signed whatever named they wanted.

By the time the attendance sheet got to me, it would be filled with names like "Mayor Koch" "LL Cool J" & "Roddy Piper". I would laugh like a loon each time I saw a familiar name. I of course, added such names as "Pete Rose" "Captain Lou Albano" and "Ron Wood" to our stellar roster of students.

Thanks to my in- class adviser, I was able to pass. I don't remember what grade I received, but I was happy that Mayor Koch did not mistakenly receive the math credits I needed to graduate.

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